Lost in Translation
by LaoevanSVU
Summary: We all know and love the Warrior Clans; but if you really think about it, would their way of life really make any sense to an outsider? Join Chili, a far too literal kittypet as she attempts to learn the ways of the Clans in a crazy adventure! Chapter 4 is up!
1. It's Only the Beginning

**Hello all Warriors Fanfiction readers! My name is LaoevanSVU, and all of the sudden this great Warriors parody came into my head! It's about this kittypet named Chili who joins ThunderClan, and then… you'll see. Here are the ThunderClan allegiances, and then I will start writing. Note that this will be a one-shot unless I get goaded into writing more. So enjoy everyone! I'm sorry if you think that this isn't funny, I'm too much of a serious author for this to be amusing, so I tried my hardest. This is a Warriors parody with incredible OOCness and crazy things. Enjoy, and if you review you get a Plushie! **

**This story takes place in the book ****Sign of the Moon,**** which is in the Omen of the Stars Arc.**

**It's Only The Beginning **

**ALLEGIANCES**

LEADER: **Firestar-** ginger tom with a flame-colored pelt

DEPUTY: **Brambleclaw- **dark brown tabby tom with amber eyes

MEDICINE CAT: **Jayfeather-** gray tabby tom with blind blue eyes

WARRIORS: **Graystripe- **long-haired gray tom

**Dustpelt- **dark brown tabby tom

**Sandstorm-** pale ginger she-cat with green eyes

**Brackenfur-** golden brown tabby tom

**Sorreltail- **tortoiseshell-and-white she-cat with amber eyes

**Cloudtail- **long-haired white tom with blue eyes

**Brightheart-** white she-cat with ginger patches

**Millie-** striped gray tabby she-cat with blue eyes

**Thornclaw-** golden brown tabby tom

**Squirrelflight-** dark ginger she-cat with green eyes

**Leafpool-** light brown tabby she-cat with amber eyes, former medicine cat

**Spiderleg- **long-limbed black tom with brown underbelly and amber eyes

**Birchfall-** light brown tabby tom

**Whitewing- **white she-cat with green eyes

**Berrynose- **cream-colored tom

**Hazeltail-** small grey-and-white she-cat

**Mousewhisker- **grey-and-white tom

**Cinderheart-** grey tabby she-cat

**Lionblaze- **golden tabby tom with amber eyes

**Foxleap- **reddish tabby tom

**Icecloud-** white she-cat

**Toadstep- **black-and-white tom

**Rosepetal- **dark cream she-cat

**Briarlight- **dark brown she-cat

**Blossomfall- **tortoiseshell-and-white she-cat

**Bumblestripe- **very pale grey tom with black stripes

APPRENTICES: **Dovepaw- **pale gray she-cat with blue eyes

**Ivypaw-** silver-and-white tabby she-cat with dark blue eyes

QUEENS: **Ferncloud- **pale gray (with darker flecks) she-cat with green eyes

**Daisy- **cream long-furred cat from the horseplace

**Poppyfrost- **tortoiseshell she-cat (mother to Cherrykit, a ginger she-cat, and Molekit, a brown-and-cream tom)

ELDERS: **Mousefur- **small dusky brown she-cat

**Purdy- **plump tabby former loner with a gray muzzle

KITTYPETS: **Chili- **dark ginger she-cat with long fur and green eyes

***Cough Daisy Cough*- **self explanatory

**(Finally, we can get started!)**

It was a beautiful spring day in the Twolegplace, and Chili was resting contently in her owner's garden. It was what she did everyday for most of the year, except for when she was taken for shots at the vet, or locked away at an animal hotel for weeks while her owner went on vacation. Usually it was not a problem that she had nothing to do or no one to talk to, but today felt different for a reason.

Chili wondered if it was her stomach, so she pushed her way through the cat door that was her portal into the strange recesses of her twoleg's kitchen. She padded over to the dark red bowl that held her tuna in it and took a bite, chewing thoughtfully.

Chili ate all of her food and then felt satisfied in the hunger department, but something was still missing. She bounded over to the cat toy that sat a few yards away from her food bowl and wacked it with one of her paws, watching the dangling mouse swing back and forth in front of her. That was usually enough to entertain her, but it didn't even catch her attention today.

She sat back with a start as she realized what was wrong with her.

"I'm… bored!" She though, alarmed.

Chili examined her surroundings and noticed that for one in her short life that everything was so... ordinary. The bland white walls were tall and ominous, and the windows let in enough light to see clearly in the day without a problem. Her cat toy sat in the corner dejectedly, and her bowl was empty for most of the day except for when she was fed. Chili had the same routine, and all of the sudden it was driving her crazy.

She went out into the garden again and stared at the grass that she had been resting on. It was trimmed weekly, and the green strands were standing up straight and uniform, as they always were. Chili stared at the grass, and then back at the house she lived and made a decision.

"Okay, I really have to get out of here. I'm going to go into the forest and join wild cats for no apparent reason. Goodbye warm house, delicious food, kind owner, and all the other comforts of my life! The _forest _is calling!"

Chili leapt easily over the whitewashed picket fence that surrounded her garden and padded straight forward, heading into the Greenleaf Twolegplace (without her knowing it of course). She began to notice changes in her surrounding, and it was a new feeling for her. There were many trees and bushes surrounding her, and the leaves under her paws crunched with every step.

Chili came upon a Twoleg Path and shuddered, remembering the comfortable life she had just abandoned all but two minutes ago. She took in a deep breath, smelling the beautiful plants all around her and-

"What _is _that? It reeks over here!" Chili gasped as the warm scent of fresh urine flooded her nose; overpowering her mind and senses. She dry-retched and made several choking noises as she attempted to breathe through the smog of pee.

Finally she decided to hold her breath and go investigate. The closer she got to the urine, the more powerful the reek got and her eyes burned. Chili found the source of the stink and stared in confusion.

There was a- no, many dark patches of wetness on tree's bark that lined the Twoleg Path. It appeared to Chili that the forest cats had felt the need to pee on a line of trees because they felt like it. She stared across the Twoleg Path and noticed that the pines on the other side also had pee on them.

"Is this some sort of… custom or ritual? Or are they trying to make a fence made completely out of their own stink? I'm beginning to think that this wasn't the best idea… these cats are really weird, and I haven't even met them yet! Oh well, this has to be better than extreme comfort."

Chili strangled in a deep breath and ran away from area, in the opposite direction of the pines. She then flopped down and hyperventilated, having lost a lot of air due to barely breathing. After recovering her breath, she shakily got to her paws and continued forward.

After a ways she came across a small stream that had dark water in it. She smiled and lapped it up, expecting it to taste cool and clean, like the water that her owner gave her. Instead she vomited up a minnow and leaves that had landed on her tongue as she tasted fish.

"Eww! This water's contaminated! How do they drink this stuff?" Chili leapt over the stream and continued, bounding this time. She _had _to find cats soon; they couldn't possibly live like this!

The ground was pretty even, good for running on, until it disappeared completely under her feet. She flew forward and landed directly into a thorny bramble thicket, her pelt lodged into the spikes.

"OWW! GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF!" she wailed in pain. Chili shot straight out of the brambles and jumped around spastically, attempting to get the thorns out of her. She didn't notice the massive hole in the ground in front of her that she was rapidly approaching, and for the second time that day, she found herself to be airborne.

"AHH!" Chili plummeted down into the never-ending darkness, until she landed on something soft with an oomph.

"It's a prophecy from StarClan! THE SKY IS FALLING!" A grey cat wiggled out from underneath her and ran around blindly, until it smashed into a wall and knocked itself out.

Chili groaned, dazed from the fall and found herself surrounded by hostile cats. A golden tabby tom stepped forward, his amber eyes blazing with fury.

"That was our medicine cat, he's blind you mouse-brain! What are you doing in our camp anyway _kittypet?"_ He spat out the word with disgust, eying the newcomer.

Chili leapt to her feet and met his challenge. "You leave a big hole in the middle of the forest next to a patch of brambles, and you wonder why I fall in? It's because I didn't know that it was there! Wait, this is your _camp?_ That must mean that I found the right place. SHOW ME YOUR LEADER!"

Another cat, a dark brown tabby this time, stepped forward and called out. "Firestar! This cat wants to see you!"

A fiery ginger tom moonwalked out of his den and into the circle of cats. "I am the cat you call Firestar, BOW DOWN BEFORE ME! Oh, hello stranger, what are you doing here?"

"Firestar? That's a very strange name! My name is Chili, and I'm here because I want to join your clan. I promise that I will be the best that I can be, and that I will fight valiantly in the heat of battle. I…"

*****Several hours of inspirational speech later*****

"Okay!"

"You mean that you'll let me join? No test or impossible tasks first for me to overcome?" Chili's eyes widened in surprise and she sat down in front of Firestar. She looked him, waiting for his answer.

Firestar nodded happily. "You see, most sane leaders and sensible Clans would have already killed you or driven you out. But, since I used to be a kittypet, ThunderClan got to be incredibly soft, so now I let in everyone, even if they're completely useless!" *Cough **DAISY** Cough*

"Allow me to give you your apprentice name now!" Firestar sat back and began to wave his front paws in the air like he was possessed.

"Wait, what's that?"

Firestar stopped waving his paws and explained it to her. "Your warrior name is the name that you have based off of one of your features! Since you'll be our only apprentice, your name will be a prefix with paw at the end! Do you understand now?"

Firestar peered down at Chili expectantly. She sensed that something incredibly bad was going to happen, but she gave in anyway.

"Okay then, what's my warrior name?"

Firestar looked at her, drinking in her features. Her dark ginger pelt was a fiery red color despite the darkness, and her eyes gave off their bright green shine. After a moment of deliberation, Firestar still couldn't think of a name, even though she looked remarkably like him. He shifted on his paws uncomfortably, thinking of all of the possible names that he could give this young cat. (Emberpaw, Amberpaw, Flamepaw, Crimsonpaw, Blazepaw, the list was endless!)

"What was your name again?"

"Chili, I told you before!"

Firestar's eyes lit up happily. "I know! For now on, your name shall be Frostpaw!"

The cats in the clearing looked among each other in confusion. What did Frost have to do with anything about this cat? There were whispered murmurs, and one especially loud commentary.

"I think that Firestar's going crazy Berrynose." Birchfall yowled to Berrynose; ignoring the fact that the leader was sitting right in front of him.

"I think so too! Birchfall was a bad enough name for you, and now Frostpaw? He's nuts! She obviously should have been named something with fire! Or maybe he's just jealous because her pelt's more impressive than his."

Chili looked at Firestar, dumbfounded. "WHAT?"

Firestar smiled, despite the chaos. "Isn't it the most perfect name ever? Here, I'll tell you how I thought of it!"

"This better be good." Chili mumbled angrily.

"See, your name's Chili, right?"

_"Yeah."_

"And its Chilly in the leaf-bare, am I right?"

"_Leaf-bare?_ That doesn't make any sense! I'm Chili after the hot food or pepper! You can't-!"

Firestar raised his paw to silence her. "Shush, I'm explaining the epicness. Anyway, it's Chilly in leaf-bare, which means that it's cold in leaf-bare, and there's frost on the ground in leaf-bare when it's cold, so therefore your name should be Frostpaw. Isn't it amazing?"

Chili took a deep breath, but despite all of her efforts, she still couldn't keep her temper. There were columns of smoke rising out of her ears, and she was practically breathing fire.

"I think that we should call her Dumbpaw," Snickered Thornclaw. "The little kittypet got what she deserved," He thought to himself gleefully.

Firestar turned towards Thornclaw and his smile widened evilly. "Thornclaw, since you're so interested in the newcomer, why don't you be her mentor? Okay, so Frostpaw now has Thornclaw as a mentor, it's decided! Now I can go back to my den and nap- I mean do important leader-ish things! Goodbye Clan!"

Firestar turned around and moonwalked back into his den, all while humming the theme to 'Billy Jean'. Within a few heartbeats, the cats could hear loud snoring echoing out of Firestar's den, bouncing off the stone walls of ThunderClan Camp. Once he left, Thornclaw turned towards Frostpaw.

"You're lucky that Firestar is leader, or I would so protest! Why do I have to be stuck with _the kittypet?"_

"You're stuck with me because you're a loudmouth! Hey, that should be your warrior name! Or maybe we could call you Thorn-."

Thornclaw stuffed his tail into Frostpaw's mouth before she could finish his 'new name'. "I wouldn't advise saying that in front of the Clan; you already have a bad reputation for crushing Jayfeather. Now come on, I have to teach you the ways of the Clan."

"WAIT! Before we go, can I ask you a question?"

"What is it?" asked Thornclaw, turning towards the exit of the Clan in preparation to leave.

"Who peed on your trees?"

After huffing about 'stupid kittypets and their limited knowledge', Thornclaw taught Frostpaw about border marking and leaving scents on trees to mark territory. Frostpaw insisted that the idea was stupid and demanded to know how a stink was going to keep out a strong cat. Thornclaw just sighed and explained the border patrol; where cats went to investigate if their scents were being disturbed or changed.

"So you mean that other cats try and pee on your trees? I'd be pretty mad if that happened, _if it made sense_!" Frostpaw looked at Thornclaw and laughed; her ginger pelt rising and falling as she gasped for air.

Thornclaw snarled angrily and wacked Frostpaw over the head with his paw, performing the classic Gibbs-Slap. "Don't be stupid; it's a way of life! What would we do here if we didn't explore our territory all day? Exactly, nothing much as you can see. So come on and practice properly climbing out of camp; it's easier than it looks."

Frostpaw shook her head and looked at the looming walls. "How are we supposed to get out of here Thornclaw? All I see is… rock."

Thornclaw thought for a moment and then he had an idea. "Ha I know; we can follow this border patrol up the rocks. You'll go first, and I'll follow behind you in case you fall! Isn't it _purrfect_?"

Frostpaw stared at Thornclaw and then turned around to start climbing after the border patrol. She noticed the almost invisible ledge that the cats were carefully scaling and she began to trail behind them slowly but with growing confidence.

In the middle of the climb, when she was sure that she could stop looking at the ground, Frostpaw called out to Thornclaw.

"Do you know that you pulled a Firestar back there? Even though I've never heard him say that, it was pretty obvious how… strange he is."

Thornclaw eyed her angrily, attempting to burn holes in her pelt with his glare. "It happens sometimes; we all have a little Firestar inside of us, considering how most of the clan is related to him! Now be quiet and concentrate, you're giving me a headache."

Frostpaw snickered and murmured something quietly so that only Thornclaw could hear.

"Still though, it was pretty- AHH!"

For the second time that day, Frostpaw found herself to be falling into the oblivion. Poor Jayfeather, who had regained consciousness and finally though that it was safe to come out, felt her presence and squealed in alarm as she almost crushed him again. He bounded into the medicine den and began scarfing down as much thyme as he could find in the herb stores, his eyes wide with fright and his chest heaving. If it hadn't been for Thornclaw, who caught Frostpaw by the scruff and heaved her over the side, he would have been fresh-kill.

"STARCLAN'S TRYING TO KILL ME!" wailed Jayfeather in between mouthfuls. "Or even worse it's an omen; that blind cats can no longer live in the Clans!"

Jayfeather then ran up the rocky ledge and hurled himself off of it; attempting to commit suicide for StarClan. The other warriors remaining in the Clan had to sedate him as he tried to drag himself to the medicine den to eat deathberries, the fall having only winded him. (Who said that misreading signs was not necessarily a bad thing?)

"Gay…" Frostpaw finished weakly as she was pulled over the side and thrown into the wall. Thornclaw snorted with laughter as Frostpaw regained her composition, her head spinning.

"Karma's a bitch, isn't she Frostpaw?"

"Shut up."

They finished climbing out of the camp in silence. Thornclaw waved her over with a flick of his tail and then bounded off into the forest.

Frostpaw blinked is surprise and scrambled after him, dodging trees and rocks as he weaved through the undergrowth. Thornclaw skidded to a stop in front of the training hollow and Frostpaw tripped over a stick lying behind him, bouncing off his pelt and skidding on the ground.

Thornclaw completely ignored her and pointed towards the ominous training hollow, which was casting an evil shadow down on them.

"This is the Training Hollow where apprentices learn how to fight. I'm going to teach you a few moves before we continue today. Follow me inside."

Frostpaw nodded and padded into the training hollow, surprised to find it full of sand. "How is this teaching us anything? I'm sure that the other cats won't attack us on a beach!"

Thornclaw gave her a strange look but continued speaking. "I don't know what a beach is, but anyway the point of this is so that you can practice your moves without getting hurt. So stand over there, and I'll demonstrate the paw swipe."

Frostpaw nodded and padded over to the area where he gestured. Thornclaw then crouched a few fox-lengths in front of her and picked up his paw. "Watch what I do," he meowed.

Thornclaw swiped at the air in front of Frostpaw's nose so that she could see the attack. She hissed is surprise and snarled at him, unsheathing her claws and leaping onto his back. She grabbed his flicking tail and bit down on it, sending a ripple of pain throughout his body.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GET OFF OF ME!" roared Thornclaw as he attempted to dislodge Frostpaw. "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WACTH AND LEARN, NOT ATTACK!"

Frostpaw finally realized what they were doing and attempted to let go of Thornclaw. She attempted to let go of him, but it wasn't successful. She really tried, but her claws got stuck in his fur. As hard as she pulled, she couldn't get loose.

"I'm stuck in your pelt!" She wailed to Thornclaw. He turned and saw that Frostpaw's front claws were in his pelt, and she was just hanging on to him helplessly. He tried shaking his pelt really hard in order to get him off, but it wasn't working.

So Thornclaw had to pad all the way back to camp with Frostpaw on his back. As he clambered down the wall, all of the queens and kits were laughing at them. Daisy was particularly brave, and she blocked his way to the medicine den.

"Look what the cat dragged in!" She shrieked, causing everyone in the camp to yowl in pain at her horrible mew.

"I wouldn't be talking you stupid horse!" (Was that the word that I meant to use?) Thornclaw shouldered past the useless queen and squeezed his way into the medicine den. There Jayfeather was quietly rocking back and forth, his tail wrapped tightly around his paws. Thornclaw padded into the den and tapped him.

Jayfeather stopped rocking and looked in the completely opposite direction blindly. He took a deep breath and scented the two cats in front of him, his fur fluffing up in alarm.

"What do you want Thornclaw? I have no cure for the devil that clings to your pelt as a bramble in your fur."

Thornclaw sighed and explained the situation to the back of Jayfeather's head. "You see, I was training… the devil… when she got stuck to me. Is there any way that you can remove Frostpaw, because she's starting to get very heavy oh most honorable medicine cat."

"Please make it quick, my claws are starting to feel as if they're falling off!"

Jayfeather snarled in fear more than anger and backed up onto his supplies, hissing angrily. He dug around for something wildly, and then in triumph he pulled out a small wooden cross, brandishing it as if it were a weapon.

"The creature speaks? Back away you heathen! You expect me to tangle with a demon? You're mad! Get out of my den, just leave!" Jayfeather pushed his entire medicine store toward Thornclaw and backed into the wall.

Thornclaw bowed respectfully to the crazy cat and picked up the thickest leaves that he could find. He wriggled out of the medicine den backwards and accidently stepped on one of Daisy's many kits. He didn't remember which one it was, only that it was only one out of the fifteen kits in her abundant litter.

"Why does your shaman hate me?" Asked Frostpaw as Thornclaw pulled the small cream-colored blob off of his paw with disgust.

"He's the Medicine Cat, and it's probably because you almost killed him a few times. I don't know why he keeps making religious comparisons towards you though; we don't believe in god, just StarClan. It must be the catmint, it's probably old."

Frostpaw nodded as Thornclaw chewed up the leaves that he got and handed the polituce to her. Frostpaw took it into her mouth and smiled in delight as she recognized the taste of her mouse at her old home. She then faintly heard Jayfeather mutter about cleaning up his mess, but she wasn't very sure about that.

"So you guys use catnip for something out here?" Frostpaw asked giddily as she inhaled the precious juices. They were making her light-headed, and she loved the feeling.

Thornclaw glanced over his shoulder as she smeared the leaf pulp onto her claws. "It's called catmint you know."

"CatNIP!"

"CatMINT!"

"NIP."

"MINT!"

"If you say that to a kittypet, they're going to get pretty confused at your terminology. Whatever it is, it's so wonderful, isn't it Thornclaw? I love eating it when I'm bored; it gives you the greatest buzz!"

Thornclaw looked troubled as Frostpaw gradually slid down his back. "Did we just use the catmint as the lubricant?"

"Yeah, and I just finished eating the rest of it, was that a problem?"

Thornclaw smacked himself with his paw and looked over to the medicine den, where Jayfeather was using the cross to scoop the herbs back inside while shooting glares at what was supposed to be them, but was really at the nursery. "Catmint is one of the rarest herbs in the forest! It cures whitecough and greencough, which are super deadly. Now some other cats that are not us has to look for more, before we have none for the winter and it kills us all! Do you know where to find any?"

Frostpaw though for a moment and then smiled. "We could always raid my owner's den, there's plenty of catnip there! However, I think that he put up and electrical fence or something, and unless this fourth cat of the prophecy has elemental powers, then you're not getting through."

Lionblaze happened to be passing by at that exact moment, and when he heard the prophecy mentioned, he bounded up to Frostpaw, grabbed her by the scruff, and hurled her into the clearing.

"HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE POWER OF THREE OR FOUR AT THIS POINT?" Lionblaze roared loudly, crushing her under his large forepaw.

Frostpaw gasped for air. "I… read… the Warriors series, please don't kill me!" She cried, attempting to get his off of her lungs.

Lionblaze crouched lower, his eyes narrowing into slits. "That's not a good enough answer, cats can't read! We only have up to the New Prophecy series in our library anyway! Now WHO TOLD YOU?"

Frostpaw's vision began to dim as she looked around the clearing desperately for a cat to blame. She saw an annoying cream pelt coming towards her and she inhaled the sickly-sweet scent, remembering who this cat was. She gasped and forced out the name.

"It… was… Daisy!"

Lionblaze lifted his paw off of Frostpaw and she gasped for air. He then unsheathed his massive claws and started stalking angrily towards Daisy, who saw him coming and began edging away in fright.

"I didn't try to tell her, I promise! How could I have, they were out of camp all day! Please don't kill me Lionblaze! Oh Great StarClan!"

Lionblaze leapt at Daisy, who cowered in fright. Since she made a point of being the only cat who didn't know how to fight in ThunderClan, she was easily knocked aside by Lionblaze's furious attack. He then proceeded to rip her to shreds, thankful that in this parody cats never died, but then wondering how he would possibly be able to get rid of Firestar so that Brambleclaw would have a chance to become leader. Oh well.

Thornclaw saw his chance and he dragged Frostpaw away from the pummeling. He left her over at the fresh-kill pile, which he circled in order to find a squirrel. Frostpaw eyed it, noticing all of the little dead bodies on it with disgust. Finally Thornclaw found what he was looking for and he dropped down and tugged the squirrel out of the pile happily. He looked up at Frostpaw and pointed at the fresh-kill.

"Eat a piece; it's really good for you. I know it's not human food, but trust me, it's delicious!"

Frostpaw blanched as she saw a particularly scary piece of prey. It was a little mouse that looked as if it had been stepped on unsuspectingly, and its dead eyes were staring at her frightfully. Its body was snapped almost fully in half, and it was hanging together by a piece of red sinew, blood dripping slowly out of it and making a crimson pool onto other pieces. Frostpaw's stomach growled as she remembered the last meal that she had eaten earlier before, but the pile of dead bodies was very unappetizing to say the least.

So she padded away as quickly as possible and sat down next to Thornclaw, who was digging in heartily, snapping squirrel bones and ripping off meat. Frostpaw avoided staring at the squirrel as she spoke to him cautiously.

"So you forest cats eat small defenseless animals as your food source? That's pretty nasty, to say the least. I only eat tuna; do you have any of that?"

Thornclaw looked at her as if she were an annoying tick. "Who do you think we are, RiverClan? No, the forest cats only eat cute woodland creatures! Trust me, they're really fun to catch; I'll teach you how after we share tongues."

"Fine then, I'm going to just eat herbs then," she declared arrogantly.

Purdy had been watching them; amused at the conversation. He slowly padded over to Frostpaw and smiled at her, while limping and wincing with every step due to cat arthritis. He sat down stiffly next to her and began his elder rant.

"When I was a young' in, we was always told that meat was good for us! It gave you healthy bones, ya'll know? Anyway, there was this one little ol' she-cat who didn't believe a word that any cat said, and she hated prey. So she decided that she's become one of them vegiteruins, you know that Twoleg word for plant-eater?"

Frostpaw nodded and grinned back at the old cat, genuinely interested in what he had to say. "So what happened to the she cat…"

"Purdy," whispered Thornclaw behind her.

"Oh right, Purdy."

Purdy itched his head in what could have been either in thought or because of fleas. His old eyes lit up as he remembered how his story ended.

"Well, she wandered around munchin on plants for a few days and then died, ya'll know? You can't be livin' off of leaves! So eat your prey, it's better than that mouse-dung that them Twolegs have."

Purdy stood up at and awkward angle and hobbled back into the elder's den, without the prey that he had been looking for originally. Frostpaw sat down and pondered the story, defeat flashing in her eyes."That wasn't very helpful, does he know that? I'll eat a piece later, when I'm too hungry to care what it is. Hey Thornclaw, are you even listening to me? You're mother is a stupid mouse-brain, and she smells like mouse bile and ShadowClan!"

Thornclaw had been noisily sucking the marrow out of a squirrel bone. "Oh yeah, I was totally listening, and I agree with everything that you just said! Now go away and share-tongues with someone, I look for a mate at this time." He hungrily eyed Rosepetal hungrily; who was one of the younger available she-cats in the Clan. He padded over to her and sat next to her, purring sexily.

"Someone call StarClan, because an angel fell out of heaven!"

Rosepetal edged away from him, clearly creped out. "Okay…"

"If you were a tick, I'd kill you first!" purred Thornclaw suggestively.

Rosepetal finally understood that Thornclaw was hitting on her. Unimaginable rage flew across her features and she pulled a large frying pan out from behind a rock and proceeded to bang Thornclaw over the head with it.

"You _CREEP!_ You're old enough to be my _GRANDFATHER_!" Rosepetal continued to bash Thornclaw until he was flatter than a pancake. Frostpaw was watching the entire process and was laughing her head off, gasping for breath.

When Rosepetal was satisfied, she angrily stalked away and ducked down into the nursery, most likely to tell the queens about Thornclaw desperate attempt. Frostpaw bounded over to her mentor while gasping happily. (We all wonder why Thornclaw has never had a mate, so now you know. Horrible ThunderClan pick-up lines are to blame.)

"Rejected again Thornclaw? That was priceless!" She grabbed him by the scruff and pulled him up off the ground and back into his original state. Thornclaw snarled at her and proceeded to lick his coat, smoothing it down to its original state.

"Go share tongues with someone while I repair my ego."

Frostpaw suddenly grinned and tilted her head towards Thornclaw. "Can I share tongues with _anyone?"_

Thornclaw nodded impatiently and shooed her away. "Yes now go away!"

Frostpaw scanned the clearing for a random male. She saw Brambleclaw, the dark ThunderClan deputy pad past and she bounded up to him. "Hey Brambleclaw, do you want to share tongues with me?"

Brambleclaw turned his handsome head towards Frostpaw and nodded. "Okay, let's sit over here." He padded over to a shady area and sat down, wrapping his tail around his paws. Frostpaw sat down next to him watching his every move.

"So what's- mph!" Brambleclaw had been trying to ask Frostpaw how her day was when she suddenly shoved her tongue down his throat.

"Am I doing it right? I've seen Twolegs do this on the big magical box, and they seemed to enjoy it!" questioned Frostpaw as she awkwardly licked Brambleclaw.

Brambleclaw pulled his head away from Frostpaw and gasped, swallowing air hungrily. After breathing in deeply and hacking up bile, he turned towards Frostpaw and hissed.

"Never, _ever_, do that again. Twolegs are the dumbest creatures out there, and you're trying to copy them? Sharing tongues is supposed to be a time when cats TALK to one another, not attempt to choke each other! Didn't Thornclaw teach you _anything?"_

Frostpaw ducked her head, embarrassed at her stupidity. "No, Thornclaw has been too busy to explain that to me."

"Well then, how about you try to learn something before I personally have you kicked out of this clan? You've been acting like a little screw-up all day, and it's getting to be quite annoying." Brambleclaw snarled, hoping to scare the apprentice.

Instead of flinching, Frostpaw looked up at Brambleclaw with sudden determination.

"We'll see about that."

**Okay everyone; that was Part 1 of this story! It was starting to get a little long, so I decided to cut it off at here for suspense and for my reader's eyes. I'm not even **_**close**_** to describing all of the weird terms that the cats use, and there probably will be a Part 2 to this. I hope you liked it so far, and I'm sorry to the people who were expecting for this to be another one of The Misadventures of the Clan Kits stories, I'm still trying to find the time for those through all of my schoolwork! :(**

**Anyway, if you really want a Part 2 to this story, all you have to do is review! The second part of this story will take place throughout the rest of the same day, so if you want to submit a funny idea, just leave in your review! Or, if you want to point out a flaw that I can edit, or if you just feel the need to flame me, go ahead and review it, I don't mind if the criticism make sense. **

**Thank you for taking the time to read this! **

**~ LaoevanSVU**


	2. The Crazyness Continues

**Hello everyone, it's time for the second installment to Lost in Translation! First off, I have to thank:**

**Koraki,**

**FangandIggyRule,**

**XxBlazestormxX, and**

**Honeyfoot, who also put me in her community, THANK YOU FOR THAT!**

**They all get my love and the plushie of their choice that they can add to their plushies list! Anyway, this part of the story is continuing off within the same day that we left off in. The story starts right after the conversation with Brambleclaw… so now it's time for the Allegiances! **

**ALLEGIANCES**

**LEADER:** **Firestar-** ginger tom with a flame-colored pelt

**DEPUTY:** **Brambleclaw-** dark brown tabby tom with amber eyes

**MEDICINE CAT:** **Jayfeather-** gray tabby tom with blind blue eyes

**WARRIORS:** **Graystripe-** long-haired gray tom

**Dustpelt-** dark brown tabby tom

**Sandstorm-** pale ginger she-cat with green eyes

**Brackenfur-** golden brown tabby tom

**Sorreltail-** tortoiseshell-and-white she-cat with amber eyes

**Cloudtail-** long-haired white tom with blue eyes

**Brightheart-** white she-cat with ginger patches

**Millie-** stripped gray tabby she-cat with blue eyes

**Thornclaw-** golden brown tabby tom

**Squirrelflight-** dark ginger she-cat with green eyes

**Leafpool- **light brown tabby she-cat with amber eyes, former medicine cat

**Spiderleg-** long-limbed black tom with brown underbelly and amber eyes

**Birchfall-** light brown tabby tom

**Whitewing-** white she-cat with green eyes

**Berrynose-** cream-colored tom

**Hazeltail-** small grey-and-white she-cat

**Mousewhisker-** grey-and-white tom

**Cinderheart-** grey tabby she-cat

**Lionblaze-** golden tabby tom with amber eyes

**Foxleap-** reddish tabby tom

**Icecloud-** white she-cat

**Toadstep-** black-and-white tom

**Rosepetal-** dark cream she-cat

**Briarlight-** dark brown she-cat

**Blossomfall-** tortoiseshell-and-white she-cat

**Bumblestripe-** very pale grey tom with black stripes

**APPRENTICES:** **Dovepaw-** pale gray she-cat with blue eyes

**Ivypaw-** silver-and-white tabby she-cat with dark blue eyes

**Frostpaw- **dark ginger she-cat with long fur and green eyes

**QUEENS:** **Ferncloud- **pale gray (with darker flecks) she-cat with green eyes

**Daisy-** cream long-furred cat from the horseplace

**Poppyfrost-** tortoiseshell she-cat (mother to Cherrykit, a ginger she-cat, and Molekit, a brown-and-cream tom)

**ELDERS:** **Mousefur-** small dusky brown she-cat

**Purdy-** plump tabby former loner with a gray muzzle

**STILL KITTYPETS:** **Chili/Frostpaw-** dark ginger she-cat with long fur and green eyes

***Cough Daisy Cough*-** self explanatory

**(Thank the lord that I had that written out already, it took soo long to type the first time!)**

"We'll see about that."

Frostpaw stared at Brambleclaw until his eyelid started to twitch spastically. She stood there unmoving and unblinking, even when Brambleclaw pawed at his face and blinked frantically, trying lubricate his amber eyes. "Oww, my eyes BURN, don't you ever blink mouse-brain?"

"I think that I won." smirked Frostpaw triumphantly. Brambleclaw glared at her strangely and hissed in indignation. He clawed at the ground and watched as Frostpaw slowly closed her green eyes and opened them again, not even flinching when he slapped a little dirt towards her face.

"Won at what? We weren't playing anything, I was scolding you!" Brambleclaw shook his head and suddenly found a tick on his ear, which he started to itch distractedly while Frostpaw spoke.

"You don't know? I just dominated you in a staring contest; you just destroyed! The only person that I can't, no, that I couldn't beat is Floofy the Goldfish, that's how good I am. He was a pet that my Twoleg had, and I would verse him every day, but for some reason he would always win. Then I found out that he was cheating, and that fish don't have eyelids, so I ate him for dinner. Floofy tasted really good, it's unfortunate that you Clan cats can't catch Goldfish in the wild."

Brambleclaw stopped scratching and rolled his eyes, annoyed. "Do you have any other pointless information that you have to tell me, because I have to go now." Brambleclaw turned and was about to pad away when Frostpaw stuck out her paw and tripped him, sending him flying towards the ground.

Brambleclaw skidded to a stop a few fox-lengths away from Frostpaw and leapt to his paws, dusting off his pelt embarrassedly. "What did you do that for?" He exclaimed angrily.

Frostpaw glared at Brambleclaw with an evil glint in her eyes. She pulled out a dagger from behind her back and pointed at him menacingly. "Never, EVER, leave when I'm speaking to you! It's disrespectful, and I DON'T LIKE IT." she snarled, waving the dagger in the air. Brambleclaw took a step back and sweat-dropped, his eyes widening in alarm.

Frostpaw put the dagger away and smiled sweetly, laughing inside at the fear-scent that was rolling off of Brambleclaw. "It's nice that we understand each other." She purred happily, but with a tone of warning in her mew.

Brambleclaw slowly backed away from Frostpaw and nodded as officially as he could without shaking. "Okay Frostpaw, now that you're… done, I have to attend to my deputy duties, considering the fact that Firestar does nothing. Goodbye."

Brambleclaw turned around quickly and padded away. He was about to leave the camp to go on a patrol when a scary voice trailed out of Firestar's den.

"Braaaambleclaw! You know what _time_ it is, don't you? Your highness needs a pad massage, pronto! Don't forget the dock leaves this time either!" Brambleclaw flattened his ears and hissed dejectedly, turning towards the medicine den and stalking inside of it. He emerged a few minutes later with a wad of dock leaves in his mouth and an oak leaf on his head like a cap.

_"Yes Firestar."_ Brambleclaw mumbled under his breath, padding towards the Highrock.

"It's Super Epic Lord Firestar to _you_ Brambleclaw! Now what do you say?"

"_Yes_ SuperEpicLordFirestar."

"That's better, carry on."

Frostpaw clenched her mouth shut and dug her claws into the ground, trying not to laugh. She snorted; almost choking on her gasps of breath as she thought of what Brambleclaw did every day.

"You're… his… MANSERVANT! Oh my Starclan, this is hilarious! I have to tell Thornclaw!" Frostpaw bounded away to the warrior's den, where Thornclaw was talking with Dustpelt, who was sharing relationship advice with him.

"…And you should never tell a queen that she looks fat. I did that once to Ferncloud, and let me tell you, she got so pissed that she just attacked me with a frying pan! I don't know what's with females and frying pans, but let me tell you, that hurt! Oh hello Frostpaw, when did you come here?"

Frostpaw sat in front of the two warriors and grinned happily. "Hey guys, do you want to know a secret?"

Thornclaw glanced down at Frostpaw, thinking about it. "Okay, what do you know?"

Frostpaw laughed and looked at the senior warriors happily. "Brambleclaw is Firestar's manservant!"

Thornclaw shook his head, not laughing at all. "Everyone knew that Frostpaw, it's pretty obvious. We've been trying to kill him so that Brambleclaw doesn't have to be tortured anymore, but in this dumb story nobody dies! We're organizing a killing tonight, we're going to try before the Gathering today."

Frostpaw cocked her head to the side questioningly. "What's a Gathering?"

"I'll tell you when the time comes. Now come with me, I'm going to teach you how to hunt with Lionblaze and Dovepaw."

Frostpaw frowned and flopped herself onto the ground like a kit, stretching her ginger pelt unhappily. "But I don't like Lionblaze, he tried to kill me! Also, who's Dovepaw?"

Dovepaw called out from inside of the apprentice's den. "I'm Dovepaw, and I heard that! Lionblaze is my uncle or some sort of relation to me, so I feel offended! Wait a second I'm coming out."

Dovepaw padded out of the apprentice's den and up to Frostpaw, who she sniffed curiously. "It's nice to meet you Frostpaw; my name is Dovepaw as Thornclaw told you. How do I know all of this? Well, I have superpowers!"

Frostpaw looked up at Thornclaw, who was nodding at Dovepaw. "This cat is _weird." _She hissed quietly to him, glancing over at Dovepaw nervously.

"Hey, I heard that! My superpowers give me incredible hearing and sight- I mean oops! Tell her Thornclaw!"

Thornclaw looked at Dovepaw and then over to Frostpaw. "Do you know how Lionblaze is able to rip anyone to shreds without getting injured? Well, Dovepaw is also weird, and she had heightened senses that allow her to see and hear for long distances for some reason. Jayfeather, our medicine cat can also read minds, it's really disturbing. These three cats are all special because they can use these abilities at will, which is why they call themselves the 'Power of Three'. They act as if we don't know anything, but it's a little too obvious."

Frostpaw nodded with understanding. "So anyone who is related to Firestar and is half-or-all-kittypet can be special? That means that I have a chance to have special powers!"

A loud call came from Firestar's den. "It's SUPER EPIC LORD FIRESTAR to you MORTAL!"

Thornclaw glared in the direction of Firestar's den and continued. "That's not guaranteed Frostpaw, because Jayfeather and Lionblaze used to have a sister named Hollyleaf, and she committed suicide or something, because she just disappeared one day, she didn't have any powers. Neither does Ivypaw for the most part, she just whines all day and then gets really badly hurt every night. I feel bad that they were excluded from this thing, it's really sad that they're not special."

"Heeeeeeeey, I heeeaaaarrd thaaaaaaat! Don't be so meeeeeaaaaaaaannn!" Whined Ivypaw from her nest in the apprentice den, where she was bleeding from three broken legs and a ripped up pelt. She would heal in a few hours through, so it wasn't really a big deal.

Frostpaw nodded slowly. "Okay… let's just get training now. Where's Lionblaze?"

All of the sudden the group heard a loud yowl and the sound of crashing undergrowth. It sounded as if an army of cats was hurtling towards them, but really it was just one being.

"OH YEAH!" Exclaimed Lionblaze arrogantly, who was running through the forest with his jaws full of prey and kits that weren't ThunderClan's. He had an army bandanna tied around his ears and dark stripes painted underneath his eyes that made him look like a crazy army officer.

Lionblaze bounded up to the group of cats and dropped everything that he was carrying. His eyes shown with pleasure as he pointed towards the pile of good that he had. "Hey everyone, look at what I just did! I felt the need to go attack someone, so I raided ShadowClan all by myself because I can't get hurt while fighting. I took all their prey and these little kits that were just lying there in the sun. So I asked the queens and they told me that their names are Frogkit and Pinekit. Say hello little guys!"

The kits stared up at the ThunderClan cats with alarm in their eyes. "What are we doing here?" They squeaked unhappily.

Lionblaze smiled scarily at them and pointed towards the nursery. "I took you adorable furballs from ShadowClan!" He cooed like a mother through gritted teeth. "Now go to the nursery like good little kits before I eat you, and become friends with the queen named…"

"PICK ME!" yowled Daisy, frantically waving her paws around to attract attention from Lionblaze. Since the last chapter when Thornclaw stepped on one of her kits, her litter was only at fourteen. Now she wanted to beat her kit record by two so that she could feel accomplished, as she never was in the real books.

Lionblaze totally ignored her and settled his eyes on Ferncloud, who had just padded out of the nursery to stretch. "Ferncloud, do you want two kits? I know that you've already populated the other half of the Clan that Firestar hasn't touched, but still, these kits could use a _good mother."_ He shot a glare in the direction of Daisy, who had left her kits to play on the Highrock. They were dangling over the side precariously, and play-fighting each other in between the sharp jutting stone.

Ferncloud stared at Daisy's kits with dismay and then down at the cute ShadowClan kits. "…Ferncloud," she whispered happily at Pinekit and Frogkit, finishing the introduction that Lionblaze had made earlier. Ferncloud wrapped her tail around the kits and gently guided them into the nursery, their pelts flattening as they were comforted by her motherly scent.

Lionblaze turned towards Thornclaw, Frostpaw, and Dovepaw, who had all been watching with shocked expressions on their faces. He flattened his ears at them and stalked into the forest.

"Don't look at me like that, I told you that I was bored. Now let's train for hunting, I'm hungry."

Frostpaw looked at him, shocked. "We- I mean everyone else except for me, just ate!"

Lionblaze just shook his head. "Raiding weak, stinky, Clans is hard work! I need to keep up my appetite for the Attempt Firestar Killing Number fifty-nine."

"Wouldn't it just be easier to write 59 instead?"

"No, the author thinks that it sound cooler spelled out! Now stop breaking the Fourth Wall and let's go!"

"Whatever."

*** * * After a few minutes of Fourth Wall repairing- I mean running through the forest…* * ***

Thornclaw skidded to a stop in front of a Large Tree. "Let's hunt here; there are all types of animals in this area."

"Okay…" Sighed Frostpaw.

"Fine then." Nodded Lionblaze

"Well, all types of animals except for Water Voles."

"Be quiet Dovepaw."

"Sorry!"

Thornclaw crouched down besides the tree and pointed at a rock. "Okay Frostpaw, it's time for you to learn how to hunt. I'm going to demonstrate on this rock, and this time you're not going to attack me! Watch as I stalk that 'mouse' and kill it, okay Frostpaw?"

Frostpaw nodded, her shaggy ginger pelt rustling in the breeze nosily. Thornclaw shushed her with a wave of his paw and quietly crept forward, his tail low but not dragging and his weight evenly distributed on his haunches. He was downwind from the rock, and even though it didn't really have a scent he pretended to taste the air so that Frostpaw could see how to properly find her prey.

He inched forward a little more and leapt, outstretching his jaws silently and chomping down on the rock, breaking most of his teeth in the process. "Oww, I fogot that thith wath at rock! I ave no teeth so Lionblaze hath to teech you now!" spat Thornclaw through his broken teeth. He padded out into the forest in pursuit of water.

"Wait here wit Lionblaze and learn somethin while I find a steem!"He called over his shoulder as he disappeared into the thick undergrowth in front of them.

Frostpaw sighed dejectedly and turned towards the cat who currently hated her most in ThunderClan. He was busily positioning Dovepaw into the same hunter's crouch that Thornclaw had been in to catch the rock, but she kept falling over awkwardly. Lionblaze sighed and prodded her back into the position, but she still couldn't keep her balance.

"Why can't you just spread your paws out and hold your weight steady!" he exclaimed, frustrated after the tenth time of Dovepaw tripping.

Dovepaw raised her ears in exasperation. "I am trying, but my back leg keeps buckling, and it's kind of hard to concentrate above the noise of crumbling earth."

Lionblaze looked at her with alarm. "Wait what-?"

The ground suddenly opened up from underneath Lionblaze and Dovepaw. They fell into a large opening in the ground and ended up inside a tunnel, where they found a very surprised cat. Her black pelt was hackled in fear, and her green eyes were wide with surprise.

Lionblaze looked around in shock, tasting the air in disbelief. "H-H- Hollyleaf? You're alive!" He ran over to his sister and wrapped his tail around her, nuzzling her affectionately.

Hollyleaf smiled happily and nuzzled her brother back. "Yo what's up Lion? We've just been chillin' in here ever since that entrance broke!"

Lionblaze looked at her strangely. "You and who else Hollyleaf?"

All of the sudden a tabby tom padded out from behind Hollyleaf and nodded to Lionblaze while chewing a catmint leaf. He was wearing a tie-dye bandana around his ears, and his amber eyes were cloudy and unfocused."Dudes, peace." He acknowledged the cats with as a greeting.

*** * * MEANWHILE * * * **

Frostpaw had been ignoring the bickering pair while playing with a dried oak leaf, bored. She had heard the ground crumbling and looked up just in time to see Lionblaze and Dovepaw fall into a massive hole. She waited, concerned for their safety, but all she heard were excited mews and greetings. _"Who are they talking to, the mole cats?"_ She wondered to herself, without really caring what was happening to the pair.

Frostpaw stood up and stretched, looking around the tree that they were previously milling around next to. _"If they're going to talk to other people and ignore me, I'm going to try to catch some prey to make up for their incompetence."_

Frostpaw crouched down by the tree and waited. She didn't see any prey after a while, and she couldn't tell which scents were animal's after she sniffed the air, so she decided to use a technique that she had learned from a rogue that had passed her garden. She studied the dirt thoroughly that was around the tree; looking for footprints that an animal could of left.

After a moment Frostpaw noticed tiny little paw marks that were scurrying around the base of a tree. She looked at them closely and grinned. _"Bingo!" _She murmured happily to herself. She quietly followed the tracks throughout the forest until she found the animal that had made them. It was a fat mouse with small feet that was gnawing on a root that it had found on the floor busily.

Frostpaw shuffled noisily into the hunter's crouch that Thornclaw had demonstrated earlier. She was positive that she was doing it the wrong way, but no one had actually taken the initiative to teach her anything. Frostpaw waited for a second, like Thornclaw had, and then she pounced. The mouse squeaked in surprise as she crushed it under her weight, and she bit it and then it died.

"Hey, that was pretty fun, I want to do it again!" she called out to the empty air around her. Frostpaw picked up her dead mouse and brought it over to a dip in the earth. She dropped it there and wondered how she should protect it. Then she smiled and picked up a small stone triumphantly. "I'll make a wall of rocks around my prey, so that no cat can steal it!"

After surrounding her prey with rocks, Frostpaw turned and padded deeper into the forest determinedly. _"I'm going to catch a lot of prey and then impress Thornclaw, tracking rules!"_ She declared.

*** * * IN THE TUNNEL * * ***

Sol looked at the two ThunderClan cats with certainty. "I knew that you forest-cats were coming to our adobe. Me and Hollyleaf have been down here, listening to the water in the cave and following the signs of the leaves. Also I got her pregnant, but that's beside the point."

Lionblaze's eyelid twitched with obvious rage. "You're telling me that you made Hollyleaf believe in herbs as a religion, and then you felt the need to get her pregnant? I swear to StarClan that I'm going to rip your hippie head off!"

Sol backed away and raised a paw. "Yo man calm down, the Hunters let me do all of this. Just ask Hollyleaf."

Lionblaze turned towards his sister. "So now you're talking to evil Twolegs?"

Hollyleaf shook her head while picking up an unidentifiable leaf to chew on. She swallowed it after a little bit and began to speak. "The Hunters, they be the authors of this series homeboy! They talk to us occasionally to make up our plot! Here, just ask them:"

"Hey, we can talk to our characters? That's so cool Katie!

"You should have known that Vicky. Even Tui has met the warriors, and she only writes for Seekers!"

"Exactly! But it's not fair that you and Cherith have written all the books!

"You're the editor Vicky, you just give us the okay or no-kay for publishing."

"But I wrote _Cats of the Clans!_"

"So that's the reason why it stunk, right?"

"Shut up Cheri -.- Oh hi Lionblaze, I'm Vicky, it's nice to meet you-!"

Lionblaze gasped as he forced himself out of the dream bubble that contained the Hunters. "They don't make any sense!" He wailed unhappily, now scarred for life.

Hollyleaf laughed at her brother, enjoying his terrified face. "Yeah, they're pretty darn creepy once you first meet them, but they're alright when you get to choose your own adventure. They allowed me to get over my love of the Warrior Code, and I'm pretty sure that they're the ones that made Jayfeather crazy. Does he still have advanced schizophrenia?"

"Yeah, he's totally convinced that our new apprentice Frostpaw is a demon!" Cut in a small, squeaky voice.

"Shut up Dovepaw, the grownups are talking."

"Aww, you stink Lionblaze!"

He just turned towards Hollyleaf and sighed. "Apprentices these days, they're so rude! Are you going to come back to the clans now Hollyleaf?"

Hollyleaf shook her head and pointed towards the herbs on a rock that she had been blocking. "Nah bro, I have to watch the herbs!" She picked up a pointy green leaf and offered it to Lionblaze.

"Do you want some? Sol told me that that it's a prized treasure in the Twolegs land, they call it something like Mary-gawhanas?"

Lionblaze twitched again at the mention of the leaf. "Yeah, we're getting out of here Dovepaw."

"But I want to try some!"

Lionblaze smacked her over the head and picked her up in his jaws. "Nice seeing you Hollyleaf, we're just going to go back to camp now. Goodbye."

"Bye Lion, it's been a pleasure!"

Lionblaze carried Dovepaw out of the tunnel and into the bright sunlight.

*** * * BACK TO REALITY * * * **

Frostpaw sighed, exhausted, and dropped her latest catch onto the ground. She had five mounds of rocks on the floor, and this latest bird was her sixth catch. She heard a rumbling and turned around sharply.

Lionblaze and Dovepaw were kicking dirt into the hole that they had fallen into, and patting down the earth firmly. The finished and looked up at Frostpaw, who was carrying all of her prey that she had caught in her mouth. Three mice, a squirrel, a vole and two birds were hanging out of Frostpaw's jaws, and she was grinning triumphantly.

Lionblaze blinked in surprise at her catches. "Wow, you did really good, I'm impressed! You caught more now than we usually do combined! Let's find Thornclaw and bring your prey back to camp. He's going to be proud.

Thornclaw suddenly appeared out of the bushes with all of his teeth fixed by the parody gods. "I just got back in time to hear Lionblaze and he's right, you have a natural talent for killing defenseless animals. We have to go back to camp as he said though, because something special is happening."

Dovepaw grinned excitedly."I know; Ivypaw and I are getting our Warrior names!"

Lionblaze and Thornclaw stared at her. "Way to ruin the surprise." They muttered at the same time.

Frostpaw looked up at the Warriors. "What's that?" She asked.

Lionblaze rolled his eyes at the young cat.

Thornclaw began to bound away towards camp. "Follow me Frostpaw, you're about to witness something really awesome."

"Okay!"

*** * * AT CAMP * * * **

Firestar was sitting at the top of the Highrock, waiting patiently for the group to return. When he saw the tip of Thornclaw's nose at the bottom of the camp's entrance, he called the clan over to the Highrock with his special saying.

"Let every cat who's old enough to understand my amazingness gather around to hear my words!"

The entire clan grumbled but eventually settled at the base of the Highrock. Ivypaw was fully healed and standing next to Cinderheart happily, beckoning for Dovepaw and Lionblaze to come over. When Frostpaw dropped her prey into the fresh-kill pile and sat down next to Thornclaw, Firestar nodded and began the naming ceremony.

"Now that everyone has assembled, it is time for me to name our two newest Warriors. Ivypaw, it's time for you to come here first. You have done an incredible job of hurting yourself to the point of nerve damage. For that feat you deserve to be recognized as a Warrior of ThunderClan. For now on, you shall be known as Ivypool for the pool of blood that you leave in your nest every night."

The Clan cheered happily, calling out Ivypool's new name. After a few moments Firestar held up his paw to silence them again. "Dovepaw, come forth. You're extreme hearing, sight and sense of smell have made you a valuable asset to our Clan life. You've saved us a few times from unthinkable danger, and we thank you for that. However, since I don't believe that you possess the amazing sight that you claim to have, you shall be named after the little birdie that tells you everything that you claim to see. Your new Warrior name is Dovewing!"

The Clan cheered happily again, calling out Ivypool and Dovewing's new names. At least almost the entire Clan was cheering, except for one defiant apprentice, who was sitting down quietly. Finally she spoke angrily.

"Those names are almost as horrible as the one you gave me Firestar!"

The entire Clan gasped animatedly at Frostpaw's comment. Firestar lazily looked down at Frostpaw and laughed at her. "You have no say in what I name cats, so just be quiet and run back to Thornclaw and complain you little-."

"DEMON!" Yelled Jayfeather out of nowhere.

"Okay, demon. Well you still have no opinion, so I'm just going to announce who's coming to tonight's gathering. Me, Brambleclaw, Dovewing, Ivypool, Sandstorm, Hazeltail, Greystripe, Lionblaze, Cinderheart, Thornclaw, Spiderleg, Toadstep, Whitewing, Brackenfur, and… you Frostpaw. Now leave me alone, I need to rest."

"Wait a second, did you just randomly read those names off of the list of the Clan cats you have in your paw?" Inquired Frostpaw curiously.

Firestar looked down at the paper hastily and threw it into his den. "Noooo… be quiet fool, and rest up for the-"

"NUMBER FIFTY-NINE!" Roared Lionblaze suddenly.

The Clan cats that were in on the plan suddenly pulled multiple weapons out from behind their backs. There were many different kinds of guns, including a bazooka that Lionblaze and Cinderheart had been sitting on together. The sound of guns charging could be heard, and they were all pointing at Firestar.

"You can keep trying, but you know that it's not going to work." He purred, amusedly.

"FIRE!" Roared Lionblaze after Firestar finished.

The sound of nineteen guns was suddenly heard blazing throughout the camp. All of the guns were emptied completely, and a cloud of smoke was thrown up throughout the camp. The cats coughed and waited for it to clear, hoping with all of their hearts that Firestar had finally been killed.

"You missed!" A delighted mew called through the smoke. The entire Clan groaned and smacked their heads against their artillery in defeat. Firestar was still standing exactly where he was before, but on lower ground because the Highrock had been destroyed. He was about to leap into his den when his pelt suddenly started to itch.

"Firestar's fur!" Commanded Frostpaw suddenly.

Firestar burst into red-hot flames and he yowled in pain and surprise. Frostpaw was standing completely still and breathing slowly, her eyes closed. "I can set things on fire… with my _mind_, it's really a great power to have. So as you suffer, I ask you to change my name to something that is related to heat. Then I will set you out."

Firestar wailed in defeat and hissed through clenched teeth, "Frostpaw' BURNING ME!"

Amberpaw let out the fire by opening her bright green eyes. "That's better, isn't it? Go back into you den now to rest up, I assume that the Gathering even is going to be fun, so be ready. It's Amberpaw now, so you should become a better leader from now on. Shoo!"

Firestar scurried back into his den quickly. "I'm sorry Amberpaw, I've just become too Gary-Sueish (Get it?) because of the Hunters. I promise that I'll be better!"

Lionblaze shuddered. "I don't blame you Firestar, I met them, and they're HORRIBLE. So let's all call for a peace treaty. Truce?"

"Truce Clan."

**Okay, I know that the ending got a little weird, but I personally thought that it was funny. I am a Hollyleaf/Sol shipper, so that's why they were together in the tunnel. Other than that, there is going to be a third chapter, so watch out for it! (This one got too long also, I hat reading really long fics so I cut mine down.)**

**I once again thank all of the followers of this story for being so nice in their reviews, I appreciate it a lot guys! Make sure to review this chapter too, I'm sure you have a lot to ask/say, because it got really interesting.**

**So R&R, and have a great weekend!**

**~LaoevanSVU**


	3. The Power of Clan Medicine

**Hello everyone in the Warriors Fanfiction Community; I'm soooooooo sorry for not updating! I've been bombarded by schoolwork, and I haven't had the time to type anything. What I've been updating so far has been variations of some of the stories that I've written as assignments so that I wouldn't be completely gone from Fanfiction for 5 months. I really hope that my readers were expecting an update despite waiting for so long, so I did something to compensate for my lateness! I was originally going to update a chapter that was going to be very long and hard to read (at 8,000+ words), and I still wasn't done with the whole thing today as I intended so that I could update. So I split up the chapter into two parts; plus you'll be able to read the next chapter in a week when I perfect it. It's going to be about the Gathering as a sneak peak, so expect the next update either next Friday or two Mondays from this one. **

**I really am sorry; I hope that you can forgive me for my lateness. I'm going to try and update a lot faster next time!**

**I'd really like to thank all of my reviewers for the previous chapter, as listed below. I love your appreciation and determination to wait for my Fanfics: **

**Koraki**

**FangandIggyRule**

**XxBlazestormxX**

**Scarheart of DarkClan**

**Ponyiowa,**

**And Honeyfoot**

**You all receive two plushies of your choice for being so awesome! I also love the people who alerted this story and added it to their favorites; plus Honeyfoot's Community add. I know that I've taken 4 chapters to describe one long day in the life of Chili / Frostpaw / Amberpaw, but I feel as if it's necessary so that I could parody everything. Once again I thank you all for the positive review; so without further ado, let's continue the madness! **

**The Power of Clan Medicine**

**ALLEGIANCES**

**LEADER:** **Firestar-** ginger tom with a flame-colored pelt

**DEPUTY:** **Brambleclaw-** dark brown tabby tom with amber eyes

**MEDICINE CAT:** **Jayfeather-** gray tabby tom with blind blue eyes

**WARRIORS:** **Graystripe-** long-haired gray tom

**Dustpelt-** dark brown tabby tom

**Sandstorm-** pale ginger she-cat with green eyes

**Brackenfur-** golden brown tabby tom

**Sorreltail-** tortoiseshell-and-white she-cat with amber eyes

**Cloudtail-** long-haired white tom with blue eyes

**Brightheart-** white she-cat with ginger patches

**Millie-** stripped gray tabby she-cat with blue eyes

**Thornclaw-** golden brown tabby tom

**Squirrelflight-** dark ginger she-cat with green eyes

**Leafpool- **light brown tabby she-cat with amber eyes, former medicine cat

**Spiderleg-** long-limbed black tom with brown underbelly and amber eyes

**Birchfall-** light brown tabby tom

**Whitewing-** white she-cat with green eyes

**Berrynose-** cream-colored tom

**Hazeltail-** small grey-and-white she-cat

**Mousewhisker-** grey-and-white tom

**Cinderheart-** grey tabby she-cat

**Lionblaze-** golden tabby tom with amber eyes

**Foxleap-** reddish tabby tom

**Icecloud-** white she-cat

**Toadstep-** black-and-white tom

**Rosepetal-** dark cream she-cat

**Briarlight-** dark brown she-cat

**Blossomfall-** tortoiseshell-and-white she-cat

**Bumblestripe-** very pale grey tom with black stripes

**Dovewing-** pale gray she-cat with blue eyes

**Ivypool-** silver-and-white tabby she-cat with dark blue eyes

**APPRENTICES:** **Amberpaw-** dark ginger she-cat with long fur and green eyes

**QUEENS:** **Ferncloud- **pale gray (with darker flecks) she-cat with green eyes

**Daisy-** cream long-furred cat from the horseplace

**Poppyfrost-** tortoiseshell she-cat (mother to Cherrykit, a ginger she-cat, and Molekit, a brown-and-cream tom)

**ELDERS:** **Mousefur-** small dusky brown she-cat

**Purdy-** plump tabby former loner with a gray muzzle

**KITTYPETS AT HEART:** **Chili/Frostpaw/Amberpaw-** dark ginger she-cat with long fur and green eyes

***Cough Daisy Cough*-** self explanatory

**RECAP:**

_Firestar wailed in defeat and hissed through clenched teeth, "Frostpaw's new name is now going to be Amberpaw so that she can STOP BURNING ME!"_

_Amberpaw let out the fire by opening her bright green eyes. "That's better, isn't it? Go back into you den now to rest up, I assume that the Gathering even is going to be fun, so be ready. It's Amberpaw now, so you should become a better leader from now on. Shoo!"_

_Firestar scurried back into his den quickly. "I'm sorry Amberpaw, I've just become too Gary-Sueish (Get it?) because of the Hunters. I promise that I'll be better!"_

_Lionblaze shuddered. "I don't blame you Firestar, I met them, and they're HORRIBLE. So let's all call for a peace treaty. Truce?"_

"_Truce Clan."_

* * *

><p>Amberpaw stretched happily, loving the new name that she had received. It suited her perfectly; for the way that the sunlight lit up her pelt was not like the dancing flame of a fire, it was too subtle for that. Her pelt was the soft glow of the piece of dried sap, a drop of amber that had solidified onto a piece of bark. The fact that everything was right in the Clan made Amberpaw grin with pleasure as she sat up. Everything was <em>purrfect…<em> except for one thing of course.

Amberpaw rubbed her belly unhappily as it angrily growled at her. "Is there _anything_ to eat around here? I'm starving! Somebody make me some salmon; and be quick about it too."

The Clan cats glared at her and sat unmoving. Thornclaw padded up to her and wacked her with his tail "We're grateful for the save Amberpaw; but you're not Clan leader. How about you eat something that you caught? There's a beautiful thrush in the pile that's just calling your name!"

Amberpaw looked over at the pile; where the thrush that Thornclaw had mentioned was sprawled onto the pile at an angle. It was Amberpaw's third catch as she recalled, and it was by far the most difficult one to kill. Amberpaw delicately plucked it off the pile and dropped on the floor; examining the bird's thick feathers with distaste. "How am I supposed to eat this? The Twolegs didn't skin it for me!"

Thornclaw sighed and ripped open the bird's chest with his claw; revealing the meat underneath. "All you have to do is pick the meat out from between the feathers. The bones you crack open and suck the marrow out of; it's as if you have a sauce. It's really delicious; just try it and you'll never want anything else."

Amberpaw poked the thrush and then gave it a sniff. "Tell me, does it taste like… _chicken?_"

Thornclaw scratched behind his ear, trying to figure out just exactly what this 'chicken' object was. "Umm, I don't exactly know what that is-"

"FLYING CLUCK BIRD!" Yowled Amberpaw impatiently, cutting of Thornclaw.

Thornclaw slowly nodded; creped out at Amberpaw's rash response. "Okay, it tastes like… _chicken _if you want it to! Now could you just eat the thrush already?"

Amberpaw sat in front of the thrush and took a small bite. She tasted it for a little bit and then swallowed happily, obviously enjoying the bird. "This is great Thornclaw; you were right! It was really worth my tracking work; I see why you like living out here. Did everyone else eat?"

"Yeah!"

"Of course we did!"

"Sunhigh was lunchtime; we're done eating for now."

Random members of the Clan called out to Amberpaw. She nodded and finished eating; leaving a neat pile of feathers and bones on the ground in front of her. She was about to ask Thornclaw where to put the remains when a wheezing Purdy limped up to her; stiff with cat arthritis. He confidently circled Amberpaw while examining the pile of remains that she left from her first piece of prey.

Purdy then began gasping for air; acting as if he was chocking up a rock. Amberpaw watched as he bent forward and took rhythmic breaths, his pelt shaking. "Are you okay Purdy?" she asked kindly; wrapping her tail around his frail body.

Purdy shook her off and sat down, breathing heavily. "You darned young'ins always think that we old folks are dying! I was laughing; couldn't you hear that? I be tolding you that you couldn't be a vegiteriun forever! Don't you feel happy that you listened to me?"

Amberpaw's ears flattened with annoyance; her ginger pelt fluffing up at Purdy's arrogance. _"I try to help the stupid cat for one second and now he thinks that he's from heaven."_ "No Purdy; I chose to eat the prey by myself. Now go back to your den before you trip over some dirt and break your other hip." Amberpaw rolled her eyes and licked her claws, cleaning the grit out from in between them.

Purdy hissed at her and turned quickly; instantly regretting the movement while wincing. "Who told you about that? It was an accerdent, and that was a big dip in the ground! My hip healed pretty fast, I can move my leg again! _Them dumb apprentices, thinkin' that they're always right and stuff, why do they have them attitude all the time?" _Purdy began to hobble away, all while muttering under his breath about 'the future generation and their 'stupidity', as if no one could hear him. A mossball rolled out in front of his feet. It was carelessly batted there by Molekit and Cherrykit; who shrunk back in horror at what was about to happen.

"Watch out Purdy!" They called in unison; flailing their tiny paws out at him as a futile effort to attract his attention. The old cat turned his head but continued moving, raising his ears and looking at them as if they were flying mice.

"What'id you say? I can't hear you, speak up! You darned kits… WOAH!" Purdy yowled as he slipped on the mossball and crumpled to the ground. He had landed awkwardly and was lying on his side; dazed.

"PURDY!" Yowled Thornclaw as he bounded over to the old cat. Amberpaw called for Jayfeather and quickly crouched down next to Purdy as he moaned in pain. Jayfeather padded out of his den and swiveled his ears towards the sound of Purdy's moans. He padded towards the group with sticks in his mouth to use as a stretcher.

"Jayfeather watch out!" The blind cat tripped over Purdy, dropping the sticks all over him and causing more pain to everyone. Thornclaw smacked his paw to his face and helped Jayfeather up; who flattened his ears and apologized to Purdy. "I'm sorry Purdy; the red demon is messing with my senses." Jayfeather began sniffing Purdy and lightly prodding him; looking for injuries.

Amberpaw cocked her head to the side and turned to Thornclaw in confusion. "How does Jayfeather know what I look like? Isn't he blind?"

Thornclaw nodded as he helped Jayfeather roll Purdy onto the sticks. "Jayfeather claims that he can tell pelt colors based off of scent waves. But I think that he's lying; he probably dreams of us… ooh that means that he dreams of _you_ Amberpaw!"

Amberpaw and Jayfeather hissed angrily; then narrowed their eyes as Thornclaw laughed at them. "See; he even hisses at the same time as you do! I think he _likes_ you Amberpaw!"

Thornclaw was about to speak again when Amberpaw knocked him to the ground and snarled. "Don't tease me you stupid furball! Jayfeather is not my type! Besides; aren't you supposed to be paying attention to the cat you're pushing onto the stretcher?" Thornclaw looked down in shock as he saw Purdy lolling off the side of the sticks, waving his paws as he tried to wriggle himself back on like a dead bug. He gently picked up the old cat and dragged him on correctly as he winced because of the pain that he was feeling.

Jayfeather sat up and nodded at Purdy; while giving him a little bundle of thyme to eat. "It seems to me that you have broken your tailbone." He mewed as he picked up the sticks in his mouth. Thornclaw picked up the other side and together they padded slowly towards the medicine den; Amberpaw trailing behind them.

She waited patiently as Jayfeather and Thornclaw carried Purdy into the medicine den, accidentally dropping him onto the floor as Jayfeather slipped on one of his herb piles. Thornclaw then had to back out of the medicine den apologetically; dodging the poppy seed missiles that Purdy was shooting. The old cat didn't like to be neglected; and he was feeling very abused at the moment.

Amberpaw nudged Thornclaw in the shoulder. "I thought that Purdy fell on his… _face._ How did he break his tailbone?" She asked curiously while ducking under a whizzing juniper berry. Apparently Purdy ran out of seeds and had to use a new source of ammo to hit them with.

Amberpaw hissed and turned towards the medicine cat den. She closed her eyes and thought of the way to destroy the seeds without hurting the old cat. Finally she gave up and used the dumbest way to stop him. _"Burn all of the seeds in the medicine den!"_ She projected.

Loud, alarmed, yowls were heard by the entire clan as Amberpaw opened her eyes. Smoke was billowing out of the medicine den as Jayfeather stumbled out, dragging Purdy in the dirt after him. The blind cat dropped the elder and yowled loudly to the sounds of busy paws, trying to direct them to water. "Make sure not to hit any of the protected herbs, it smells like the Juniper berries are on fire in there! Put them out quickly, they burn very easily!" Jayfeather sat down and buried his head in his paws; sadly mumbling about the state of his herb store.

Amberpaw's eyes widened as she watched the brambles that shrouded the medicine den catch fire, engulfing the den in even stronger flames. Thick, black, smoke was billowing up into the cool afternoon sky, blinding the returning hunting patrol and sending them reeling back, coughing and dropping their prey.

"This has to stop; the kit-place is right next to it!" Hissed Amberpaw to herself as she squished her eyelids closed and crouched down. _"If I started the fire then I can put it out!" _Amberpaw thought of the flame, its swirling limbs and dancing light, scaring the cats and scorching their fur. She then thought of a pool of water, remembering the cool calm that it always brought. The cats around her needed relief before a warrior, or even worse, a kit got hurt. _"That's enough fire, thank you for your service. Now come back to me, I promise that I'll use you later."_

Amberpaw opened her eyes, relieved to see the fire instantly die, leaving only a pile of charred sticks and brambles to smoke. The juniper berries were completely destroyed, they were in a black heap of ashes. Amberpaw quietly padded over to Purdy; hating herself for causing all of these problems. She licked his chest rhythmically, trying to calm him and herself down. She noted that Purdy tasted like soot, and jumped back with alarm as she realized that something was wrong with him. Upon further inspection she found that one of his paws was burned; probably from scooping the juniper berries.

"_What have I done?"_ Amberpaw bounded over to Jayfeather, who was cautiously sniffing at the rest of the herbs that he could find in the remains of his den. Thankfully none of the catmint was damaged, and all of the piles seemed to be untouched except for one or two leaves in the piles. Jayfeather had spread each herb pile out in the sun to air out, noting with dismay that he needed poppy seeds and juniper berries definitely. He also saw that the marigolds had clumped together due to the heat of the fire. Amberpaw flattened her ears timidly and quietly touched his shoulder with her tail.

"I'm sorry for your loss Jayfeather. Purdy burned his paw; I think that it needs treatment." She murmured; removing her tail and sitting back quietly.

Jayfeather hissed with annoyance and clawed up the pulpy marigold petals. "I know that you caused the fire; who else in this clan has fire powers you little fiend? You've caused a lot of problems; you're lucky that this pile didn't catch on fire; or Purdy would have to suffer until we found more! Make yourself useful and sort these; I'm going to tend to Purdy's wounds. When I finish I'm going to go out to look for herbs; and _you're_ coming with me. Thankfully I have Brightheart here to take care of the medicine den, so that we can search the extent of our territory without being concerned about time." He picked up the lightly steaming pile and bounded over to Purdy, who was quietly wagging his burning paw in the air.

Amberpaw looked down at the leaves in front of her with dismay. Jayfeather had already fixed the herbs into categories; so that all Amberpaw needed to do was pick up each individual leaf and put it into its proper pile. _"He probably did this to keep me away from Purdy; he could have done this himself within a few heartbeats." _She prodded the last milk-scented leaf on top of the others and looked up, wondering what Jayfeather was doing.

"Sit still Purdy; you're not going to heal if you keep thrashing about! I know that it hurts; just be patient, okay? The herbs are going to be a little warm today due to the… accident, so I don't know how well they'll work." Jayfeather pinned down Purdy's paw and spit out the polituce on his burn, making sure to rub it in gently so that he wouldn't hurt the elder.

Purdy abruptly stopped waving his paw, his face scrunching up into a look of curiosity. "The pain stopped already! One moment ago I be burnin', and now… nothin'. What 'id you do with the herbs Jayfeather?

Jayfeather thought for a moment; equally puzzled. He leaned down and gently sniffed the polituce on Purdy's paw. His eyes lit up when he realized that the herbs were working twice as quickly as usual. But why…?

"Hey, Imp From the Depths of the Dark Forest! Come over here, I have something to ask you!" He yowled. Amberpaw flattened her eyes, yet she bounded over to the two cats anyway. Jayfeather pointed towards the herbs with his tail, attracting Amberpaw's attention.

"These herbs are working a lot faster than they normally do. Why is that?"

Amberpaw scratched behind her ears. "I don't know; is it because you wet them? I would just go to the vet, and-"

Jayfeather held up a paw to silence her. "Nobody cares Amberpaw. Anyway; the reason why they work well is because they were heated from the fire in my den. I guess that when the herbs are hot they work better due to the increased energy that the heat releases. So that means that if you can control your fire…"

"Then we will be able to have heated herbs all of the time!" Finished Amberpaw, happily bouncing up and down. "See Jayfeather, I told you that I was useful! Who knows what my awesomeness could do next?"

Jayfeather smacked his forepaw to his head, sighing and murmuring calming words to himself while Purdy waved his paws in the air, desperately trying to shut Amberpaw up. "NO, YOU **NEVER** USE THAT WORD IN THIS CLAN!" He yowled angrily.

"Oh boy, you stupid mousebrain, now _he's _going to come out and annoy everyone with one of his speeches. Why must you not think before you act?" Hissed Jayfeather while burying his head into the ground.

"What are you guys so worried about-oh geez." Amberpaw looked up at the leader's den, where a certain annoying cat was angrily pacing around in the sunlight.

"WHO DARED TO USE THE WORD AWESOMENESS IN MY PRESENCE? YOU SHOULD ALL KNOW THAT THERE IS ONLY ONE AWESOME CAT IN THIS CLAN! THAT IS ME; SUPER… EPIC… LORD… FIRESTAR! SHOW YOURSELF!"

Amberpaw padded forward and bowed down to Firestar. _"Let's just get this over with…" _She though."Firestar! I'm the cat that used the word awesomeness. I didn't know that you owned the title, so you can have it back now. I just wanted to inform you that I'm going out to hunt herbs with Jayfeather. So I'll see you later; don't think that I'm bailing on the Gathering."

Firestar opened his mouth and blinked a couple time, taken aback by the fact that Amberpaw decided not to argue with him about who had property on the word awesomeness. He tilted his head to the side and nodded to himself approvingly at her sudden attempt at respect. "O-Okay then Amberpaw, just be sure to get back before sunset. By the way, you don't hunt herbs, you gather them. Didn't your housefolk teach you _anything?"_

Amberpaw shot a glare in Firestar's direction, the grin on her face melting away. "I heard that you once had an owner too Firestar! Do you remember them teaching _you _anything? Probably not; because mine were just as useless as yours were! You shouldn't be teasing me about being a former house-cat; that now makes you a hypocrite! Now goodbye, I have to go _gather_ herbs."

Firestar's nose twitched angrily as he remembered the countless jabs that previous Warriors had made at his past. He then locked eyes with Amberpaw, who had just been about to turn away. "Never let any cat call you a kittypet. They mean harm by it; I give you permission to claw their eyes out if you need to defend your honor. Now go, I have to tend to clan business." Firestar lightly hopped down the Highledge and padded towards the Elder's den, sniffing around suspiciously.

"Where is Purdy? Shouldn't he be in here with Mousefur? Also what is that burning smell Amberpaw-?" Firestar turned to see Amberpaw quickly bounding away, dragging a protesting Jayfeather along with her.

"Nothing's happened; we just have to go collect herbs now, bye!" With that being said Amberpaw disappeared, hidden by the rocky walls of the camp entrance, leaving Firestar to stare in her wake quizzically. He shrugged and padded into the Elder's den, waking a crabby Mousefur.

"Wake up Mousefur; it's time for you to help me make decisions for leading this clan. Where's Purdy, he's going to miss out on the meeting!"

Mousefur opened her eyes and lowly snarled when she saw Firestar's annoying pelt. "You missed all of the commotion that was being made? There was a fire in the medicine den, and Purdy got hurt! I was sleeping and even I heard it! You have to stop dreaming and start living a little Firestar; then perhaps you'd know what was going on."

"Oh…" muttered Firestar as he was suddenly flooded with understanding. He sighed and dug his paw into the soft earth, ripping the soil to shreds. "Amberpaw… I'm going to kill that apprentice when she gets back!" He hissed in defeat.

* * *

><p>Amberpaw kept running until she was far away from the camp, knowing that in a few heartbeats Firestar was going to find out what she did. She dropped Jayfeather onto the ground and began gasping for air. His pelt had made it hard for her to breathe, and she was exhausted.<p>

Jayfeather heavily landed and rolled over, spitting up dirt while glaring at Amberpaw. "What was that for, you mouse-brained sprite? Where are we, I can't smell anything with all of the dirt in my mouth!" He stood up and shook off his pelt, which was flecked with brown spots, raining earth on Amberpaw.

"Hey, I was just trying to get out of camp before Firestar figured out what I did! Besides, we have to collect your missing herbs before sundown so that I can go to the Gathering, come on!" Amberpaw tried to blow some of the dirt off of Jayfeather, but she only succeeded in ticking him off more.

"Just get away from me!" He snarled and flicked the last bit of dirt off of his pelt. "Now where should we go to find herbs… I know, the Abandoned Twoleg Nest! Do you know where that is?"

Amberpaw shook her head, embarrassed at the fact that she didn't know the clan's territory at all. Jayfeather just snorted and took in a deep breath. "Okay, I smell it now; we have to go that way!" He turned towards a random direction and began to pad off confidently.

"Wait Jayfeather! Look out for that-!"

THUNK

"Tree…"

* * *

><p>After pulling Jayfeather off the floor, the two acquaintances bounded through the forest, relying on each other for guidance. Amberpaw followed Jayfeather, who was using his keen hearing and sense of smell to guide them to the Abandoned Twoleg Nest. Occasionally Amberpaw would quickly yowl out directions out to Jayfeather when an obstacle would cross his path; making sure that he wouldn't trip over anything due to his inability to see.<p>

They finally made it to the Abandoned Twoleg Nest, which was ominously looming overhead. Amberpaw looked up at it, reminded of the home that she had left the day before. She was unimpressed at the broken windows and peeling paint, and the whole house reeked of a strong mold smell. She shook her head at the state of the house.

"My housefolk kept their house a lot neater than this." She remarked

Jayfeather smacked his paw to his head, losing patience and grumbling to himself. "What part of 'abandoned' do you not get? No Twolegs live in there; of course it would look like that! What do you think any den looks- and _smells_ like if the apprentices don't clean them out?"

Amberpaw stared for a second, thinking about his statement. "I guess that makes sense." She finally decided.

Jayfeather padded towards the scent of the herbs, choosing to ignore Amberpaw. "You're such a dumb little… demon… no, imp… no-."

Amberpaw smirked, walking ahead of Jayfeather. "So you've finally run out of synonyms for demon, haven't you? I think that it would just be easier to call me by my name. It's Amberpaw by the way." She jumped back a heartbeat after, holding out her paw and whimpering.

"Oww, what was that? I just stepped on something pointy, get it off of me!" She bounced around unhappily while Jayfeather leaned over to sniff the wound.

"Hold still; I can't see anything while you move around!" Jayfeather lunged at her and slipped, bringing the two cats down to the forest floor. Jayfeather pinned Amberpaw down, extending her paw and sniffing the wound carefully.

"It's just a nettle leaf; it's one of the herbs that our Clan uses for swelling. Here, I'll just pull it out." He gently nipped the leaf and tugged, swiftly pulling out the dark green leaf and dropping it a safe distance away from their paws.

Amberpaw suddenly noticed how close they were, her pelt heating up with embarrassment. Jayfeather sensed her discomfort and hastily jumped off of her, taking a step back. "I guess that we should look for herbs now; I'll just find them while you carry what I pick, okay?" Amberpaw nodded, and together the two of them rummaged through the garden, looking for useful plants.

"What's this Jayfeather? Asked Amberpaw, ripping half a plant apart in her jaws. Jayfeather bounded over to her and pulled the plant away from her, inspecting the damage done to the plant.

"You're not supposed to rip out the entire plant! The herbs need to grow back; that's why we only pick the leaves or the seeds. You pulled out a chervil plant; you can use that on your pad actually to soothe the wound if you want. As far as herb picking, let me do the work, you just destroy everything."

Amberpaw nodded and chewed up a leaf, swallowing it and waiting for something to happen. After a few heartbeats she glared at Jayfeather, feeling as if she were being pranked. "It's not working, were you lying to me?"

Jayfeather shook his head and looked down at her paw. "You're supposed to chew up the wound and rub it on your paw, so that the juices can cool down your injury! I'm going to go into that patch of poppy flowers over there, just make sure not to breathe in their scent too deeply if the wind blows it towards you.

"Why?" Asked Amberpaw curiously, staring at the harmless red flowers that were growing in a clump.

"For two reasons. Number one is that if you smell like poppy seeds, Firestar is going to think that you're using bad substances. Do you remember what Lionblaze and Dovewing found when they fell in the hole?"

"No I don't remember that; we weren't there. How do you know about what they did…?"

Jayfeather ignored her inquiring and continued to explain. "I don't, Lionblaze smelled funny. Now like I said, don't breathe in the poppy seed smell because they will knock you out cold. I can't remember the countless times that I've had to drag Brightheart back to camp, because she just loves to smell the poppies and to fall asleep at random. You've been warned; now find big oak leaves so that we can carry the herbs that I find." He padded into the flowers, making sure to hold his breath.

Amberpaw turned towards the forest floor, sniffing around for a big leaf. She found a large oak leaf, and she bent to pick it up in her teeth. It crumbled in her mouth and she swore, tasting dried leaf parts. _"Mousedung, this might actually be harder than I thought it was!"_ She carefully picked through the leaves in front of her; realizing that since they were dead they weren't very strong. Finally she gave up and climbed up the tree, grabbing a thick clump of leaves that was hanging in front of her face.

_"I bet that I have enough now; these leaves are good. Now what should I do while I wait…?"_ Amberpaw tasted the air and she lit up as she smelled a mouse scuttling inside the Nest. She pawed at the ground, and soon enough she was able to find the little paw prints that were scattered on the ground. Using her expert tracking skills she quietly followed the tracks until she was at the door of the Nest. There was the mouse, eating a nut and quietly squeaking to itself.

_"Aww, how cute! This looks like a fantastic meal for some of the little kittens; I wonder how many mice are in here? I bet that I can catch at least two of them while Jayfeather is gone!"_ She hunched up her hind legs and forcefully leapt at the tiny creature, using the element of surprise and speed to catch the mouse.

She landed on its throat and with a quick bite she killed it, not noticing the creaking that the ground gave when she picked up the creature in her jaws. _"Wow, and that was easy too! Let me just put this outside and AHH-!"_ She yowled as the floor gave way, the fragile wood splintering and crashing into a deep hole. She fell roughly, her head spinning and her body sprawling out at an awkward angle. The last thing that she remembered was a shadow blocking the light from above as she thought she heard Jayfeather yowl for help…

* * *

><p><strong>Oh look, a cliffhanger! I got you guys, now you'll want to read more because you want to know what happened to Amberpaw! Also, what will Jayfeather do to save her? You'll get to find out next week, see you soon with the Gathering. <strong>

**BTW, whoever can guess what herb Amberpaw prodded into place last on the pile? You can get me to read one of your stories! (Unless I already read them; then you can tell me what you want, maybe you'll want me to check out your forum?) The hint is that the herb had a milk-like scent. I know that it's pretty easy; try to win your prize because I accept everybody's answer, even if you're not the first person to get it right. Everybody wins here.**

**Be sure to read and review again; praise, feedback, story ideas, and even flames are accepted. I like knowing what you guys think, it keeps me motivated as a writer. I hope that you enjoyed this overdue chapter, have a fantastic day!**

**~ LaoevanSVU**


	4. Gathering Galore Part 1

**Hi everybody; I'm back with the fourth chapter of Lost in Translation! I know that it took longer than I originally mentioned to update; you know that I'm not the best at sticking to any deadlines. I'm sorry that I kept you waiting: **

**XxBlazestormxX,**

**FangandIggyRule,**

**Kitteh Cookie Dough,**

**ponyiowa,**

**And Fluffy Cake, **

**I love you guys; so thank you for reviewing! A special mention for Fluffy Cake, who actually tried to guess the herb, and got it right! The herb was borage; because the hint was its 'milk-like' scent. Fantastic job; now all you have to do is tell me what you want! **

**Everybody receive a plushie of your choice for being here for me, regardless if you guessed or not. (Be sure to write it in the reviews so that I can list them in the next chapter. They don't have to be from the books, it can be any cat.) I also love the people who alerted this story and added it to their favorites; thank you all! Once again I thank you all for the positive reviews; I love reading them, and they keep me motivated to write the next chapter. (I'm a person with an extreme procrastination problem, so I need a lot of motivation).**

**I wonder what happened to Amberpaw in the Twoleg Den? I guess you'll finally find out! **

**Gathering Galore Part 1 **

**ALLEGIANCES**

**LEADER:** **Firestar-** ginger tom with a flame-colored pelt

**DEPUTY:** **Brambleclaw-** dark brown tabby tom with amber eyes

**MEDICINE CAT:** **Jayfeather-** gray tabby tom with blind blue eyes

**WARRIORS:** **Graystripe-** long-haired gray tom

**Dustpelt-** dark brown tabby tom

**Sandstorm-** pale ginger she-cat with green eyes

**Brackenfur-** golden brown tabby tom

**Sorreltail-** tortoiseshell-and-white she-cat with amber eyes

**Cloudtail-** long-haired white tom with blue eyes

**Brightheart-** white she-cat with ginger patches

**Millie-** stripped gray tabby she-cat with blue eyes

**Thornclaw-** golden brown tabby tom

**Squirrelflight-** dark ginger she-cat with green eyes

**Leafpool- **light brown tabby she-cat with amber eyes, former medicine cat

**Spiderleg-** long-limbed black tom with brown underbelly and amber eyes

**Birchfall-** light brown tabby tom

**Whitewing-** white she-cat with green eyes

**Berrynose-** cream-colored tom

**Hazeltail-** small grey-and-white she-cat

**Mousewhisker-** grey-and-white tom

**Cinderheart-** grey tabby she-cat

**Lionblaze-** golden tabby tom with amber eyes

**Foxleap-** reddish tabby tom

**Icecloud-** white she-cat

**Toadstep-** black-and-white tom

**Rosepetal-** dark cream she-cat

**Briarlight-** dark brown she-cat

**Blossomfall-** tortoiseshell-and-white she-cat

**Bumblestripe-** very pale grey tom with black stripes

** Dovewing-** pale gray she-cat with blue eyes

**Ivypool-** silver-and-white tabby she-cat with dark blue eyes

**APPRENTICES:** **Amberpaw-** dark ginger she-cat with long fur and green eyes

**QUEENS:** **Ferncloud- **pale gray (with darker flecks) she-cat with green eyes

**Daisy-** cream long-furred cat from the horseplace

**Poppyfrost-** tortoiseshell she-cat (mother to Cherrykit, a ginger she-cat, and Molekit, a brown-and-cream tom)

**ELDERS:** **Mousefur-** small dusky brown she-cat

**Purdy-** plump tabby former loner with a gray muzzle

**THE KITTYPET CLUB:** **Chili/Frostpaw/Amberpaw-** dark ginger she-cat with long fur and green eyes

***Cough Daisy Cough*-** self explanatory

* * *

><p>Amberpaw woke up a while later, her body resting on an unbelievably soft substance that reminded her of her bed at her Twolegs' home. She looked down and smiled, noticing that she was on a fluffy pile of moss. She studied her surroundings, noticing that she was in a cool den with a pile of rocks in the corner with a certain grey cat stumbling around-.<p>

Wait; wasn't she just in the forest a moment ago? She jumped up and stared around the den, noticing that the grey cat was now advancing towards her.

"I see that you finally woke up after you managed to break the Twoleg Nest. Nice going Amberpaw, how much did you eat when you were a spoiled house-cat?" It was Jayfeather that was in the den with her, and he was staring at her with an amused smirk on his face.

"I'm not fat!" She hissed, causing Jayfeather's smirk to widen even further.

"Sure you aren't; that's why the ground caved in underneath you."

Amberpaw deliberately ignored his comment and gestured towards her surroundings. "Where am I then? I've never seen this place before!" Amberpaw blanched when she felt a wave of pain hit her and she sat down roughly again, laying her head in an attempt to stop it from throbbing.

Jayfeather bent and tossed a patch of wet moss at her, its coolness making Amberpaw feel better. She put it next to her head and sighed, her headache dimming.

"To answer your previous question you have seen this place before, just not from the inside. This is the medicine den, where I take care of the sick cats of the Clan." He gestured around, and Amberpaw saw the little herbs in the crevices of the rocks, hidden from damage and intruders. The den was full of well-woven bramble walls, which kept out the elements and provided a sense of security. Amberpaw smiled for a moment as she was reminded of her past, deciding to tease Jayfeather as she always used to tease others as a young cat.

"Hey, I thought that you said that you wouldn't allow any demons in here; so why am I here?" She smirked and noticed how Jayfeather's expression became completely serious.

"I did say that; why do you think those are in front of your moss pile?" Sure enough, and array of small crucifixes were arranged next to Amberpaw, warding away whatever 'evil' she had brought into the den. She sighed and stood up again; slowly this time to avoid a wave of fatigue.

She thanked Jayfeather for his time, promising to bring him a juicy rabbit as she padded out of the Medicine Den. The sky had darkened considerably, sending sinister shadows across the camp and reminding Amberpaw about an important event that she had to attend.

"Oh no, it's almost time for the Gathering! I swear, if they left without me I'm going to…" She stopped as something soft hit her leg. It was a small cat, probably a kitten, and it was pawing at her legs. It was a small ginger she-cat with green eyes and a bouncy nature.

"Hello Amberpaw! Thornclaw sent me to tell you that everyone is about to leave, so you woke up just in time! Go to the Highledge so that Firestar can tell you what to do!"

"_Firestar will never tell me what to do,"_ Amberpaw briefly thought. She smiled and patted the kitten on the head. "Okay kitten, I'll go to him. What's your name by the way? I saw the two of you earlier when you tripped Purdy. That was funny; I'll give you that!"

The ginger she-kitten smiled and flicked her tail towards a crevice behind the Nursery. A timid brown tom kitten quietly crept out and wandered over to his sister's side, staring up at Amberpaw with wonder. "So you're not a monster…" He mumbled to himself.

The ginger kitten laughed and batted at her brother's ears playfully, mewling with laughter. "Don't listen to him Amberpaw, he's just shy. Ever since the elders made up the story about you being a sacred StarClan cat that breathes fire, he can't get the fact that you're just a normal apprentice out of his head. I'm Cherrykit by the way, and my brother's name is Molekit. We're the only kits left in the nursery!"

Amberpaw grinned as she listened to Cherrykit's introduction. _"So it's kit, not kitten… I see what you did there Erin Hunters!" _She laughed to herself, causing Cherrykit and Molekit to stare at her with curiosity. She then cleared her throat and straightened up, noticing that the kits were actually pretty big, considering the fact that they came up to her chest. Amberpaw took pride in the fact that she happens to a massive cat; her size had helped her a lot in the Twolegplace growing up.

"Hey, when do the newborn kits get to become apprentices?" She asked curiously.

Cherrykit's eyes darkened at the mention of apprentices. "We're supposed to become apprentices at six moons old, like all kits are supposed to. But _Firestar _apparently forgot about us, because yesterday we turned eight moons old, and he hasn't given any recognition to the fact we're still in the Nursery! We even tried to tell him ourselves, but he's still convinced that we're too young. I hate him!"

Amberpaw narrowed her eyes and nodded to Cherrykit and Molekit. _"You kits have no idea…" _ She thought to herself. "Don't worry you two; I'm going to have a… talk with Firestar. You'll become apprentices while I'm around; I promise!" She stalked off towards the Highledge, her paws itching with anticipation.

_"I'm going to kill Firestar! You should never neglect kits; I have no morals for anything and even I know that! Grr…"_ She stopped abruptly as she looked at the scene in front of her.

The cats that had been chosen for the Gathering were calmly sharing tongues in the clearing underneath the Highledge. There was a very happy atmosphere in the air, with the cats enjoying each other's company despite barely being able to see in front of them. Amberpaw saw a few cats that she knew sitting in a group, like Lionblaze, Dovewing and Ivypool. Brambleclaw was busy talking to Cinderheart, who was happily stretching on the ground besides him. She saw other cats in the clearing; even a she-cat with a ginger pelt, but there was no Firestar in sight.

Amberpaw weaved her way through the clearing of cats, accidentally stepping on one of the cat's paws.

"Hey, watch where you're padding!" Exclaimed a black-and-white tom. He pulled his paw back and licked it in mock agony, grinning at Amberpaw's apologetic expression. "I was just kidding with you, I'm okay. My name is Toadstep; it's nice to meet you! If you're looking for Thornclaw he's over there, muttering and drawing in the dirt."

Amberpaw smiled at the new cat and stopped to talk to him, introducing herself and then nodding with appreciation as she heard that his sister was Rosepetal, matching her name to the pelt color of a cat that she had seen before. She stopped suddenly and her pelt paled a little when she realized just who exactly Rosepetal was.

"Wait a second… wasn't she the cat that Thornclaw was…_flirting _with earlier?" She shuffled her paws, embarrassed at the desperation that her mentor had.

Toadstep hissed and dug his claws into the soft earth in front of him. "Yeah, it was, thanks for reminding me! Rosepetal came wailing to me, sobbing that your mentor is a no good mousebrained foxheart, and that he really needs a mate. I don't hate you though, you're entertaining!" He smiled up at her and they touched noses, Amberpaw murmuring a soft goodbye as she bounded towards the Highledge. She really wanted to talk to Toadstep, and maybe even badger Thornclaw about what he was doing. The kits were a priority through, and she had to talk to Firestar before they left for the Gathering.

She bounded up the rocks that jutted out of the Highledge and padded into the den that she found at the top. _"Of course It's was nicer than the other dens; even the nursery isn't this extravagant and that is where the kits are born! Conceited Clan leaders; you're no better than the rest of us cats!" _She thought to herself as she pushed her way through the ferns that draped over the entrance.

Suddenly a strange presence filled her mind, causing her to freeze in shock. "_Actually, Clan leaders are blessed with nine lives when they become a leader. So they are better than normal cats Amberpaw."_ The voice was raspy, and the cat laughed with a sarcastic air to its tone.

Amberpaw clawed at the air in front of her, shocked at the invading presence in her head. _"Who are you?"_ She thought loudly, hoping that her voice would be heard.

_"I'm a certain… deceased medicine cat that happens to enjoy sarcasm to its max. My name is Yellowfang; ask Jayfeather about me the next time you see him. Of course you could always do that if you're not trying to rip his pelt off- if you know what I mean."_ The medicine cat cackled; her voice fading as she left Amberpaw's mind.

Amberpaw's pelt heated up with embarrassment at Yellowfang's comment. She desperately tried to clear her mind, preparing herself to yell at Firestar. _"That was so weird! I'll ask Jayfeather about that later. I can't believe that she said that though; what does she mean by ripping his pelt off?" _Her thoughts were interrupted by Firestar, who stuck his nose out of his den.

"What are you doing out here for so long? We need to talk; and you're just standing there blushing to yourself! Come inside; did you not think that I would let you in?" Firestar pulled her in by the scruff and plopped her down on the sandy floor, which was warm despite the cold night breeze.

Once Amberpaw had shifted so that she was comfortable, she looked up at Firestar. He had set out a mouse for her to eat; knowing that she had only consumed a thrush earlier on. She smiled thankfully at him and bent down to eat the mouse. She gulped it down in one bite and looked up at her surroundings, instantly noticing a flash of silver hidden underneath the sand by the wall of the den. Without a word she bounded towards the area and swiped away more sand with her paws.

Her eyes widened with shock and disbelief as she stared at the sight in front of her. Underneath the sand Firestar had buried a small refrigerator, like the one that her Twolegs owned! She opened her jaws as wide as she could and bit down on the handle, wrenching the door open. Inside of the fridge were neatly stacked bottles of milk, and one of the bottles was slightly opened.

"MILK!" Squealed Amberpaw as she dove towards the bottle and ripped the top off, draining the contents into her parched throat. Milk had always been her favorite drink; she used to sacrifice a lot to make sure that the cats she loved had at least a drink a day. After she had finished chugging down the creamy substance she wiped her paw along her mouth, removing any excess liquid. She then quietly closed the door and turned towards Firestar, who was nervously laughing at her and backing away.

"YOU HAD MILK IN THIS PLACE AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!" She yowled and unsheathed her claws, pointing a dagger-sharp one at him.

Firestar bounded over to her and hissed for her to be quiet. He gestured towards the opening of the den and hastily dug sand over the fridge, concealing it from view once again. Once the fridge had been safely hidden he padded up to Amberpaw and whispered in her ear.

"Now you can talk; you have to be aware of the volume that you speak at! Even I can get caught if I speak too loudly, and I'm Super Epic Lord Firestar." Amberpaw shot a glare at him and he grinned widely, showing off his surprisingly menacing teeth."What; you know that it's true!"

Amberpaw rolled her eyes and pointed towards the now concealed fridge. "Tell me where you get your milk from; how is it even fair that you have this hidden away while your Clan drinks crappy lake water?"

Firestar calmly pulled a map out of his den, which showed the trade route that he used to get his milk. "No Clan cats would enjoy drinking milk, I tried to give some to my mate Sandstorm and she hated it! Anyway, I know a few rogues from the area where you used to live, and they happen to really enjoy fresh-kill. I always hunt a little extra, and then at the end of the week I bring my prey to exchange for the bottles. It's only two medium sized pieces of prey for one bottle."

Amberpaw hissed and pushed the map away from her. "This is just so wrong! What do you do when it's winter and there's not enough prey for the Clans? Besides, weren't you supposed to give up the luxuries of a kittypet when you joined this Clan? Don't look at me like that; I've heard the story from a few Clan cats."

Firestar deliberately ignored Amberpaw's last comment and pulled the map over again, showing her a blue line that led from ThunderClan to a marshy part of territory that was halfway around the lake. "I'm not the only Clan leader who enjoys milk! This blue line leads to a Clan called RiverClan, where the entire Clan loves water, swimming, fish, and milk. Every week the RiverClan cats bring their extra fish to help get the milk, and then they bring back their share to their territory. RiverClan always have extra prey, that's why they're so fat!"

Amberpaw nodded and studied the map. "Wait; then were do the rogues get all of this milk from?"

Firestar shrugged and folded away the map, throwing it into a pile of papers that included the list of cats going to the Gathering. "Hey, this is a don't ask don't tell operation. For all I know they own their own Twolegs who make it for them. Or maybe they own cows that make it for them. Who knows? Anyway, before we start discussing your role in the Gathering, what do you want so that you don't tell ever cat that you see about my milk stash?"

It was Amberpaw's turn to grin as she stared into Firestar's eyes. "Hey; I want in on this operation!"

* * *

><p>After a few more minutes of negotiation they decided on a fair trade. Amberpaw was entitled to one bottle of milk a day, if she was able to catch at least three pieces of prey a day. The two ginger cats then talked about the Gathering, and Firestar explained everything to Amberpaw that she needed to know about social interactions. They then left the leaders den and joined the cats by the entrance of the camp, who were waiting anxiously. Firestar took the lead and together they walked along the shore of the lake, making sure not to invade WindClan's territory.<p>

There were no problems in transporting all of the cats until they reached the tree trunk that was the bridge between the island and the shore. Amberpaw took one look at the water and blanched, scurrying away from Firestar and hiding behind a tall reed bed. "There is no way in hell that I'm crossing that!" She yowled, causing the cats to turn their heads in her direction.

Thornclaw padded over to her and gently pulled her out of the reeds, plopping her at the base of the trunk. "Why not?" He murmured, signaling all of the other cats to walk away from him.

Amberpaw shuddered, her green eyes alive with fear. "I HATE big lakes; especially when you have to cross over them on narrow surfaces like the one in front of us! I almost drowned one time when I was little, because my Twoleg dropped me in its watering hole and tried to teach me how to swim on my own. I had fallen of the ledge of their birdbath and I was slipping around it the water, which is what probably attracted its attention. I'll never do that again!"

Thornclaw curled his tail around her trembling torso, calming her down a little bit. "Don't worry Amberpaw, I'll carry you across the log if you want. We'll be to the island in a few heartbeats!"

Amberpaw thought for a long time and finally nodded, allowing Thornclaw to pick her up by the scruff again. "Okay; but I swear to StarClan, if you drop me…" She let her threat hang in the air as Thornclaw carefully stepped onto the log.

He had no trouble padding the first few tail-lengths, and the going was smooth. He didn't notice a stray twig poking out though, and he stumbled, causing Amberpaw to squeal in terror. "Watch out!" She squeaked, beginning to tremble again.

"Sorry!" He mewed through her fur. He padded forward and was about to make it to the island when a cat called out to him, startling him into opening his mouth.

"Ahh!" Amberpaw exclaimed as she dropped out of Thornclaw's mouth and into the water. With a loud splash she landed, instantly resurfacing while thrashing around in the water.

"HELP ME!" She wailed like a kit. "THORNCLAW I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Thornclaw smacked his head and yowled at a dark grey cat who was padding near Firestar. The cat instantly turned towards the noise and flounced over, pausing for a second as he lined up his paws to execute a perfect dive into the lake besides her. The cat grabbed her by the scruff and swam, being sure to keep her head above the icy water. A moment later they touched down on the shore, and the cat gently dragged her over to a large rock, shielding her from any other cat's eyes.

The cat, which she figured out was a male, began licking her fur the wrong way in a soothing fashion to help calm her jittery nerves. Amberpaw coughed up the water that she had swallowed, gasping and spitting into the dirt besides her.

The grey cat leaned over her and smiled gently, reminding her of a nursery queen. "Are you okay honey?" He cooed, smoothing out her fur and wiping away the dirt from her pelt. She nodded and took a deep breath, clearing her head and peering into the big yellow eyes in front of her.

"I'm good!" she croaked, turning over to glare at Thornclaw, who was bounding over to the two of them, waving his paws apologetically. "I'm so sorry Amberpaw! I didn't mean to drop you into the water! You see, a cat called out to me- and I was just trying to say hello! I forgot that you were in my mouth-!"

He was abruptly cut off by the male cat, who turned his head and protectively blocked Amberpaw from him. "Don't make excuses for what you did to Amberpaw. She almost drowned because of your stupidity! It would have been a terrible loss to the Clan; she's an amazing cat! Now apologize properly you bad, bad mentor!" Amberpaw stared at him carefully, noticing how effeminate he sounded.

"_I love this cat for saving me while I was drowning, but he's a little strange… Maybe I should ask Thornclaw later, after I finish ripping him to shreds."_She looked up at Thornclaw, who was staring at her mock-solemnly. "I'm sorry Amberpaw." He murmured quietly, with a trace of arrogance in his voice.

Amberpaw smiled and inclined her head. "Why thank you Thornclaw, I forgive you for your mouse-brained ways. Just one thing though; drop me into water again and I'll kill you." Thornclaw inched back a little and nodded, promising that he would keep his mouth shut for now on.

The grey cat nodded and turned to Amberpaw, extending a paw and smiling. "Good; that's better. The name's Graystripe; and it's a pleasure to meet you darling."

Amberpaw coughed in surprise, not quite believing what she heard. "Excuse me, but did you just say Gaystripe?"

Graystripe just laughed and swatted her ear. "No silly, Graystripe! Everybody makes that mistake; it must be because of my luxurious fur and outgoing personality, am I right?" He winked at her and nudged her, sending her sprawling into the dirt again.

"Oh I'm so sorry Amber! (Can I call you that?) Here, let me pick you up so that you don't get hurt any further. We wouldn't want to dirty that _beautiful_ fur of yours, now would we. It's a darker red than Firestar's; we haven't had a color like that before in the Clan! Also, look at those big green eyes. Imagine the possibilities; you're just fabulous!"

Graystripe then began to ramble, talking about how he would totally cross Amberpaw and Firestar together to see what color offspring they would have. Amberpaw nodded absentmindedly and made an exasperated face at Thornclaw, who ducked behind a bush and collapsed into a giggling fit. "Sure Amberpaw, I totally support that!" He cackled.

"Be quiet you! With the way you're going, there won't be a she-cat left in the forest who would willingly mate with you! At least I'm considered to be attractive!" Thornclaw fell silent as Amberpaw quietly thanked Graystripe for all of his help and padded away. "No problem Amber, I'll see you in a few!" Graystripe called as he sashayed away.

Amberpaw shook her head as they approached the Clearing. "Thornclaw, what is wrong with that cat? He seems like a nice tom, but something's… off about his mannerisms. What Clan is he from?

Thornclaw pointed at Firestar with his tail. "He's from our Clan, and he's Firestar's best friend. Originally he and Firestar grew up together, then Graystripe moved to RiverClan for a while, after that he came back to ThunderClan, and then Graystripe got captured by Twolegs and he had to find his way back here, all on his own. You see, we used to live in a nice forest that was just over those mountains. We had to journey here though, because the Twolegs destroyed our old home."

"Why did he come back to ThunderClan the second time though? He looks like he really enjoys swimming."

"Now that is an epic story for another day. It was a very violent time in Clan history, and I was young then. Come on now; you're really going to enjoy this."

Amberpaw nodded and stared at Graystripe, who was now in a deep discussion with Firestar. His tail was twitching happily and he was bouncing up and down, while Firestar was animatedly telling him a story. "Well that explains it. Firestar warned me about RiverClan cats; he said that they're very friendly, but also strange. Do you have any advice for me Thornclaw?"

"Yeah; keep your big mouth shut when you talk to the other Clans! No bragging or name-calling; cats can get very violent when offended!"

"Gee, thanks. That advice was _really helpful!_"

"No problem, but in all seriousness listen up…."

Thornclaw leaned next to her and quietly asked her to avoid messing with the other cats. "No inter-Clan relationships are allowed, so keep that in mind when talking to some of the toms… or queens." Amberpaw hissed and stepped on his paw, causing him to yelp in pain.

"What in the name of StarClan do you think I am?"

"You're a pretty _strange_ cat, to say the least. Now get ready, we're here!"

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry for the abrupt ending again everyone, but this is where I'm stopping Part 1 of Gathering Galore. The full chapter is over 8,000 words (again), and I needed to split it into two parts because it's way too long and difficult to read. <strong>

**I'm going to update the second part in a day or two, so that I can revise it to my liking. Make sure to review this little section; and if you want to throw in any ideas for what happens at the Gathering, tell me now and I'll try to squeeze it in! I love you guys, and keep your eyes out for Part 2, which will hopefully be funnier than this section. **

**BTW review and get… *coughPLUSHIEScough* **

**See you soon!**

**~LaoevanSVU**


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